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Thursday, May 15, 2008

things have been irrelevent,insignificant for me for a long time...doesn't matter a lot wats goin around me...d reason i hav really stopped carin n broodin things over...few days bak one of my frens uttered on bein drunk dat u shud think about only dose who think about u...though ppl took dat in a lighter vein dat time but somethin struck my chord...dere were echoes in my self-conscious who did tell me d truthfulness of wat was said...!! 4 yrs in college n apart from some treasured frens n a degree i hav nothin to b proud of....guess everyone feels d same...but for me its been a mixed treasure of frens who loved n frens who hurt me..but come on...m optimistic...ppl 'll realize deir mistakes... ;)

technically dis shud b d last blog of my college given d fact dat i hav just 3 more excruciating days at d coll...added to it gettin a comp to blog in has become quite difficult...ppl r busy burnin deir cd's n dvd's...so probably dis last blog would not be dat interestin n would more be d emotional types...its not dat m fakin it up but d oder part of mine which is less humurous n more of serious is quite emotional....just now i left a fren of mine who's on his way to him...a yr as a roomie i had no words to tell him at end...really parting's tough n things get worse wen u kno dat meetin again might not be possible...things hav come to standstill....dropped my plan of goin to trichy just bcuz i din wanna another day of toil in hot weather...feelings r mix...m rather happy at goin home n join my dad for my didi's marriage preparations but dunno things go other way round wen someone expresses dat he/she'll miss me....god...!! i really hate it...dunno why dis feelin hav been made...y shud v feel afterall...come on...its just been 4 yrs 2gether....still...m perplexed or rather confused....!!

still 3 days to go...tryin to meet all n just say a final good bye to dem....and waitin for a few ppl to say me a good bye....m not expectant but just tryin giv a proper shape to a so called good relation i had wid dem...dunno wid how many ppl 'll be in contact...m not d one who goes on droppin by to say 'hi'...rather i prefer d safe route of not encounterin ppl of my past...but dere's someone in me who wants to change....change for d good...

hope things work out....m bein optimistic....in course of fillin many frens slam book i wrote in a few dat...d world is short n we have to go a long way....hope i keep bumpin into dese treasure hunts of mine n relish d old days we spent together....hope it works as i think of...finally 'll my coll

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Time n again i hav refrained myself from bein d better half of mine....d part which is less repulsive..calm..composed n d one which earns me a good name...but its like moving towards oblivion...every step of mine inches me towards it...d more i try to be someone who's d best d other half of mine sprangs to life with utmost force...
bein someone who has aways tried to be sincere atleast wen relations r concerned a few things pain.....wen ur closed ones move their back against u..d worse thing about me is m simply unable to backtalk about my frens...i hav a doubt n bang in...!!!..offlate ppl hav termed n infact also trashed me sayin m too demanding....m not fully sure but is d fact dat expectin ur sister to talk to u once a week is demanding....askin ur fren to meet someday is demandin..or is it expectin a hi or a simple smile on a fren's face ?? m simply clueless.....ppl say m too sensitive n take things on a very serious note.....damn it..!! i have always felt i hav been right no matter wat d world says....yeah.. i accept d fact dat m short tempered, harsh wid my words n often too critical n sarcastic wid my tongue but dat r my inborn traits n ppl who once claimed to be my closest buddies did knew about dis innate nature of mine....i wonder d most wen things which seemed a unique charcater of mine to ppl is somehow destablisin dem now....ppl feel bad wen i say anythin....come on..!! u talk to me after a month of exile..how can u expect to be let go widout a few critical words..
added to dis bundle of surprises...my class organising a farewelll....more of a get together( read it as an extravaganza just to promote interaction among ppl..) yup..i meant interaction only....3 yrs as a class n words like manage,interaction still comes wen a class get together has to be organized....last nite i got a msg sayin or rather informin me n a classmate of mine of dis farewell..!! taken aback it took me nothin less dan 300 odd seconds to think wat to reply...somethin which would tempt ppl to understand my lack of interest for dis....my excuse was simple n i thought fair enuf..somethin wich i had used in my past to evade many trips...financial crunch...but i had no idea dat dis reply wud trigger a chain of disputes...i guess at d 1st case i hurt d person who took pains to type in d msg n get it delivered to me(seriously man..i appluad any effort of anyone who msgs me....!!!) den another fren(who happens to be a girl) who i do respect d most called my fren to assess d current situation..my fren who is someone 'i don't wanna any controversies' types thot it better to pass d baton to me...raisin my voice phone is somethin i really hate..1st of all u let everyone around u know about ur pissed off situation....added to it chances of havin any effect on d oder side is less likely....n d last thing which i had in my mind was to blame dis fren who was at no fault of hers....my point was very simple...y should v follow others n do wat dey r doin...i really admired d way a get together was organized at d last day of coll....all enjoyed n had fun...i don't see reason y ppl should travel to 8 kms far in dis extemely hot weather n hav a lunch in some starred restuarants....added to it i din talk to half d ppl of d grp supposed to join me as a class....80% of my classmates were unknown to me...sayin 'hi' to dem wen i went across dem was surely out of contentions....but wat was more terrifyin was d remainin 15% whom i knew even was out of reach n sometimes i felt it was a rather 100% who was unaccessable to me...exceptions r dere though....wen u talk like dis ppl tend to find ur fault at it...but i felt glad wen my fren voiced a similar opinion...guess he's not dat vocal n tries hard to lash it out...but noways i'll accept somethin lik dis..
don know but wat i feel is still dere r ppl who feel m right...may b not many..i hav done dis many a times...analyse myself n fight my pseudeintellect to finally conclude m on d right way..coupled wid dese thots i feel i get to be d villian once again...despite of attempts( i won't say it was brave ones) i played a spoil sport puttin many dreams n aspirations in a turmoil...but i know m right wid my words n do standby it....!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

technically this blog of mine should hav been d continuation if d earlier one but i felt d sequel could wait a bit longer n one should deal wid d present rather dan diggin d past..most of d times d past stinks(its lik u remember d stinkin part mostly....) n its d present which persudes u to move 4ward in ur life...!!
Tamil Nadu has been ever hotter....d wild hot weather gives one shivers literally...guess its only dis state in dis contienent wich is biasedly affected by d green house effects..(dunno much about wat it is but ya..it raises d environmental temp..)..moreover d geographical location too mak it a very humid places makin u sweat at every occasion(even if u r tryin to sleep..)..trust me even tryin to sleep takes a lot of energy in dis extremety...anyways wen summer is concerned m quite allergic n i make it a ponit to attain respite from it somehow....!! dis led me to make a trip to a hill station recently...its popularly known as 'queen of hill stations'...i mean its Kodaikanal...
Finallly after a week of yes n nos...persuasion n agreements v decided to make a move....quite daring one considerin d fact dat v were a bunch of just four n takin in to account d per head costs one would incur dis sounded way costlier...but d thot of welcome respite was always dere so v stood to our commitments n left for kodai on 27th april...4 guys n just 3 bags...i was made to carry d heaviest one....d backpack...despite of my protests ppl felt i was physically stronger dan oders....i really doubt dat..!! things started on bright note for us wen v got a lift from a luxury car on our way from my coll to trichy bus stand...v reached dindigual from where u were told to get our next bus from by 1 am in night...finally again v got another lift till kodaikanal..though d person charged us wid Rs. 50 per head but it sounded cheaper if u think about d comfort v had in d vehicle....however our myths were comin to an end..d very exit from d cozy vehicle at 0400 hrs in d mornin at 2500 meters above sea level brought a chill through our spines...our first priority..take a shelter as soon as possible n crash off on d bed....generally m quite sceptical wen its concerned wid takin a hotel room....lookin for all necessities at a considerable price...though negotiations do take place later on...:)...but was in not a positions to standby my stringent principles n took d room wid out any negotiations....d next 4 hrs went lik a gust of wind...was d 1st one to get up..i splashed my face with water widout realising its freezin nature...wat happened next was somethin disastrous...;)....was shiverin wid cold n promised myself not to step into water for d next 24 hrs....but guess promises r made to b broken....seein my frens takin bath in dis ice-cold water i too thot of givin it a try after a mamothic thinkin over it....i tried hard not to scream out but could'nt help it wen d gap between d water n my skin was completed in nanoseconds....soon we dressed up n stepped out...1st plan to take d breakfast...v realised how cheap d place was wen d breakfast incurred 45 bucks each....damn..!!! entire budget looked out of realms....
had heard a lot from ppl about cycle rides in kodai...we went to look for d same....our joy seemed no bounds wen v found one....i was d one most exited n made a round around the infamous kodaikanal lake..before one laughs at my kiddish nature of going on a cycle ride lemme get to facts..the diameter of the lake is alomost 2kms and its compromised of ups and downs...a mere circle of the lake would take almost 40-45 mins and leads to a staggering loss to almost 400-450 kcalories....Now m feeling good... :)
Well i guess i should wind up dis story here itself....actually dis story was saved in drafts since more than a year and it today i.e. 30th may,09 that i did hav a walk through it....the story seemed rather interesting with the flavour of college life added to it and it made quite nostalgic....hope it revives memories of all the other 3 guys too who accompanied for dis trip...damn it....i forgot to mention an interesting happening in the trip or rather at the end of the trip..while our way bak to college we had a dauntning task of takin a bus early in the morning from kodaikanal....we hurried in to bus stand to take the bus...i and another infamous friend of mine tried to take a shot at peeing at a public place (the bus stand) as we were disgusted by the thought of holding onto this nature's call for the next 3 hrs of bus journey and it might lead to severe discomfort to the co passengers....just wen we tried to relieve ourselves on a display board saying DO NOT PEE(obvoiusly in Tamil which we did not know and it was certainly not intentional) , a police man with his lathi came cgarging at us shouting in hindi.."tum log ke pass dimaag nahi hai kya " listening to known words in an alien territory made us turn our heads...and den v realised we were messed up....the mere sight of police man charging at us shut down my entire mechanism of peeing process and the pant zipped in the next few nano seconds.....finding no other way out my friend tried to reason it by admitting the genuine reason....like a naive ye told the lathiwala 'agar yaha nahi karte to pant me ho jaata'(had we not pissed of here we would hav pissed off in pant itself)..i couldn't stop but laugh for the entire next 3 hrs of bus journey at dis genuinity of the guy....eventually the series of mistakes continued when we took a bus to salem and reached our college in almost 10 hrs wen the normal buses take 7-8 hrs...
But it was lifetime journey and ya had hell lot of fun....took bags or technically speaking bytes full of snaps....still have them in my orkut album...i really miss those days...:)

Friday, April 25, 2008

an account of my college life : part 1

I remember it quite well...still hav d vivid memories of my dad utterin a phrase rite before i was to be admitted to an engg. coll....he said "college me hi to knowledge milta hai (in coll u get d knowledge...)....dad bein elder to me , guess dis phrase came in from his coll life experience....perplexed n partially palled by enterin a whole new arena i din giv it a thot..however, 4 yrs after i feel goosebumps wen i recollect my experience at coll...a mixed bunch of happy moments to times wen felt totally disgusted n low....times of celebration to times wen found noone closeby....dis blog of mine goes to my 4 yrs at coll....guess dealin wid 4 yrs in a go in a single blog would make it long n probaly unreadable too....so 'll be dealin wid 2 yrs at a time....its d 1st 2 yrs n d last 2 yrs dat did had a prominent difference....somethin which made me completely different from wat i was at d start of d coll..so here's my happiest days....!!!
M very sorry but wen dates r concerned m totally forgetful....i made my way to tanjore in tamil nadu after spedin 2 days(man...it was my 1st time n i was really left high n dry at d end of s journey....) in train....somehow reached trichy around noon...at temperatures soarin as high as 38-39 degrees n heavy luggages our crusade was partially marred....v(me n my dad) decided to hav our lunch at some small near d station as v were dead tired....n hello...!!! v were greeted by alien parathas...( neither similar in shape n nor in taste...yuk..!!! it tasted awful..)..reached coll n completed d formalities...i was alloted my hostel room wid two hyderabadi guys...met a guys parent n d 1st thing he adviced me wen he heard of my native place was to live wid peace n harmony..guess dere's somethin to do wid originating from Bihar....u earn urself a tagline of bein rude,arrogant,destructive u a trouble maker...however dat advice did'nt deter me n i did return back to find my room locked...however sorted out things out n did came to know about my roomies....still remember dat it took 15 mins to break d ice....v had some common treaties...d best thing...d whole of my wing(west) was occupied wid Biharis....so dat 'hum gaurav hai" accent was quite common....roomies were ultra cool...had a gr8 time wid dem in d 1st yr....perhaps d wing was awesome n included all branch toppers...n now somethin which even i had been tryin to forget wid time....i did emerge as d top scorer in my section in 1st sem..plz..it was not a tremendous effort...guess my frens din put enough of effort...lol....
anyways d sgpa which i earned myself in 1st sem got in kind of trouble....lecturers always had high expectation n i kept on ruining dem off...made some gr8 frens in dat yr....owais , vivek....our trilogy was quite famous n v did go to college n come back togethr...another female , megha who went on to become my sis was d topper at d end of the year.....d whole of 1st yr was awesome except a few occasions....got linked up wid a thinnest girl i had ever seen...:) just kiddin...but really it had to do nothin n still rumours kept pourin in...but dats part of college life...u pull oders leg n should be ready for d same...more dan my notorious nature i was known as studious guy wid high notch sgpa's...it was dis marks which earned me a place in d merit list d followin yr....henceforth i never commited dis mistake(seriously it was...!!!) again n d studious guy known was all set to be buried in history book reborn as someone more flambouyant, friendly n i guess featurefull too....:)

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Don know where to start from or wat to blog in....writin is one of my freakish instintictive passions but the very thought of sitting in front of comp screen n scribbling some lines gives me jitters....offlate my pseudoself has been d dominant one....d lazy part of mine has emerged yet again n i find extreme ease at sleepin n bein glued to IPL matches rather dan takin pains of writin a blog....guess it was one of my frens who asked about my blogs not bein updated dat i realized dat ppl do giv a flip to my 'not so sensible' blogs....its a ubiquitous law of nature dat anythin(either good or bad) may b liked by varied section of ppl invariably....wonder how offbeat movies too earn profits...d reason is dere's a section pf ppl who see it too...irrespectiv of d fact dat dey r who's who of d filmmaker....watever dis is not wat i gonna write about(talkin about profits n losses of busted movies).....
its been 4 days since my final yr proj review got over...sorry no excitements bcuz it was a complete flop show...not on my part but d review was worse dan d internal reviews v had....damn it...!!! for all d hard work v laid for 4 months d response v get its decent enough....everythin goes unnoticed n v become d 'bakras' yet again.....:)...but its somethin v hav used to....anyways d past few days or rather week as been as melodramatic as possible....last to last monday our juniors in a bid to show how good dey were bid us adieu( gav farewell in real sense....)...d last yr farewell being a flipper me n my frens were quite sceptical of goin in for it....but v had all decided to dress up in kurtas...n ya v looked good...entire group clad in kurtas...it was a valient attempt by d junoirs given d fact dat d seniors or rather me n my batchmates made evry attempt to hoot at top of our voices....girls were whistled at evrytime dey made an appearance.....d 1 hr show was followed by flashes of digi cams....cams fashioned in every other hand...it looked more lik a media dominated occasion where evry pose or movement was digitally caved it....ya i 4got v were given a memento to mark d occasion....however d day was marked my me loosin 100 bucks.....:(..though i lost it i had no regrets as such given d fact dat i had a rather good day...n how can i 4get this....!!! d spl thing about dis nite was all my female batchmates turnin up in saree.....man...dey all looked awesome....never before deir feminine part had come out so well....!!..d girls whom v saw from distance looked all set to be independent beauties ready to make a mark in dis cut throat competative world....:)
phase 2 of d dramatic week....last wednesday was my,infact all my fren's last day at coll....d tradition of scribblin lines on each others shirts was well known to me...so i got in a very old shirt...i don even remember wen by dad got it for me....idea was very clear,to preserve d scribbled shirt...had to meet a busy fren who offlate was not able to spare time for her obligation of meetin me...it happened again n i met 1 hr later as scheduled n it lasted for around 10 mins at max....ppl went on scribblin anythin n everythin on d shirt...guess i had to pay price for things of my past as my shirt was earmarked by guys with a prominent name written all over...:)...d day ended wid an old section get togethr where ppl were literally screwed.....life's a gr8 fun, n joke until dat joke happens over u....in d later case it becomes rather embarrasing....dats wat happened in d get together.....ppl were made to stand on a podium n answer queries from d audience wid cameras clickin all over....d quest of ppl made few shiver while many secrets were unearthed...d most shockin incident....i bein asked for a photograph by a girl....man...i was taken aback... :)
anyways d day ended on a happy note as i met all my frens...it was a fruitful 4 yrs at coll where i was made to learn all lessons....i never ever thot in my wildest dreams dat i would say this....but guess m gonna miss my college n most prominently my frens which were my treasure hunt infact.....!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 18, 2008

High on d spirits...!!!

11 months n few days henceforth......m back.....high on alcohol n if ppl r to belive me certainly high on my spirits too....contrary to popular belief dat ppl spate out filth n tend to be hyper vulgar when high on alcohol,ifeel just the opposite....
Me n my room partners r not regular drunkyards n few pegs of any brand of whisky makes us get out of this fake world conscious yet trying to prove its mettle by doing things which would make it popular but not self-popular....just 2 pegs were enough for me to get to the realism.....boozing n enjoying is one thing but getting into converstaion after dat is just the other.....ppl tend to speak nothing but truth n reality...n i who's not so vocal try to pen it down...i laid this extra effort just to remind myself what exactly i am when m faking it out to the world.....faking just to make sure dat m pa r with them...no matter even if dat means accepting certain degraded values of the society which according to recent n populist ppl's terms r latest trends.....trends which v need to follow to move on in live.....
two hours after the alcohol started numbing the central nervous system i went into conversation with a friend....though not in particular but he pointed my shortcomings.....damn...!! i to realize it n feel i have gone a long way....long way in accepting the modern theories,tryin to be hip-hoff,trackin things which would make me feel prodigy....but certaily m faking it all up....3 yrs in coll i agree i have disregarded a lot things...my injustices to ppl have been a regular phenomenon....just trying to prove m right no matter even if it means lying to some close frens n breaking promises with ppl....d gaurav which came in the college with a decent attitude,big dreams n a natural frair seems to have lost in the race of life.....ya i have geared up if its concerned with being notorious n trying to ruin ppl's happiness but d karizma i has certainly lack-lustered....m yet not sure why exactly i couldn't help myself.....
Offlate my compromises with life had feel very regular....no matter wat happens i feel its destined....the hunger within has certaily cooled down....nowadays ppl regard me as a filth on the road....m over-looked n avoided my many....ppl who loved talking to me sometimes back feel stuck up in my company.....f*** i feel d same....
My getting accustomed to this latest trend is not something new....most of the ppl fall in the same trap....though its not too late n the litmus test the life is subjecting me through is yet to be over......but it all depends on me....at 12:5 am n certainly high on whisky my tottering these lines seems to be my call of conscoius but its the new day tomorrow which'll tell me where i lead to.....will i adhere to the correct path or stick to the place where ppl find themselves stuck with me....its a big question but certainly the concious of mine will lead me the right way...hope...!!! it ends the right way n i get my rights rite.....!!!!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

wat.....???? try again......!!!!

Ever since people in my coll hav been bitten by this ever advanced n lucrativ yet so unappealing wi-fi bug a msg is a common scenario on computer screens for most number of times.....the msg proudly says TRY AGAIN.....though the effort dat may come in to clicking d button of the mouse on dis revered tab may not be calories-consuming but yeah takes a hell lot of patience out of me waitin for my desired web page to finally opening in...Even dis blogspot site took 600 long seconds to open n nearly tested my long withstandin patience....
I was wondering how dis mysterious word would havr made its way from research labs to d computer screens of v tech savvy ppl....however i still hav vivid pictures of the hindi version of 'try again' on age old doordarshan programs...though i was a kid then barely understandin the plight ppl might hav to undergo seein this msg on screen...with my age d occurance of this mgs coming n making a slam on my life became more common.....i still remember d 1999 world cup which was promoted widely by its sponsors......being a ardent n obvoius fan in a cricket crazy nation i kept a track of all the events leadin to the world cup.....A major sponsor of the world cup den launched a scheme then which offfered ppl a chance to make their way to england for the world cup( ya...!! ur rite...all expenses paid...)..one was supposed to collect certain amount of the product wrappers n exchange it with a scratch card wich wud ultimately decide ur million dollar or penniless fortune.....m a big optimist..no matter how low d probablity of my successes r , i stand by it....however as the odds mights hav turned out i was welcomed by a msg saying 'TRY AGAIN"....though all my dreams shattered but dat was my 1st genuine rendezvous wid this ultra popular n money-mobilizing slogan for all d commercial vendors( i prefer calling these callous industries 'vendors'....it suits d best)....
Ever since i have encountered this phrase a no. of times.....right from web pages to the results of certain entrance exams....though some exams r quite apologetic n do feel n say sorry for ur failure but s msg sayin try again feels a hard slap on one's face makin spoof of all the efforts dat may have been laid in preparing for the exams....i have suffered it quite a no of times....most of the times i felt sorry for my computer which time n again displayed the msg sayin 'sorry u could'nt make it'....
But offlate in college TRY AGAIN or RE-DO( a shorter,harsher n simpler version) has been pretty common occurance....recollecting all such happenings n writin it down may be a bit difficult as m very sure by then my sleep would also welcome with a statement sayin 'try again' wen i get to bed....so here's in short...
The most credited subject of b.tech curriculam is the final yr project....i ( i mean v) have been very sincere wid our project leavin no stones unturned at every step....ever since we acknowledged d fact that our project would take a lot out of us we decided to be ultra careful...hard work has been our prority n v had been workin in labs for almost 5-6 hours a day...n 6 days a week....however fate had some tryin things stored in for us when a culture which v prepared after a week long work was declared contaminated by our project guide....it felt like shit wen ur hard work is thrown off the records....that time too the words Try Again kept revolving my mind....i felt a sense of urgency n showed a positive spirit to my sir sayin v'll try again....it was later dat i realised dat i made dat statement just to get relieved to d work v might had to do then....d week starts again tomorro n 'll get to work once again....more dan work the phrase 'TRY AGAIN' 'll be makin rounds in my mind...m not sure wat it really means...is it a statement meant to console others after one's non performance or is it an assurance of perfection in the next attemp....with the way things r goin around us( certainly after being bugged by SASTRA's wi-fi,i mean it only...)...i doubt if it means either of the above......understandin its meaning is certainly at discretion of the readors or we listeners.....!!!

Friday, January 18, 2008

A request !!!!!

A sincere n a humble request to anyone n everyone who spares their precious time to go through my 'oh, what a blog' (m yet to get any negative comments for my blog )....Plz Plz plz people do put in ur comments for my blogs....m very sure dat m lacking at many bays n more dan anything else i would like to improve via my passion of writing....so all readors,especially critics r fully welcome.....plz do keep posting ur comments....
Love,
Gaurav

Thursday, January 17, 2008

indeed....it was a visual treat....!!!!!

Holidays have been ever extremely boring for one who stays back in d hostel...When the entire genre of students are back to their homes ,staying back at hostel makes no sense but taking into consideration the distance n d traumatic journey one has to travel staying at hostel for a week long pongal holiday was quite logical.....
well...to start wid d daunting task of spending my hols ,i cramped my leg d very 1st day...god.....it was damn painful...like ur left leg hangin out wen ur right one is in motion....nuring my injury i had to stay away from cricket(at which m neither good at,but particiapation is wat all matters ppl...!!) fa a couple of weeks...was exploring how'll i keep a count of d endless days yet to come...
But i coped up sportingly...getting glued to d comp....made an optimum use of the coll's FREE wi-fi connectivty.....saw a hell lot of series...it was a gr8 week but it was only yesterday i.e d last day of holiday wen v hit d bull's eye...
One of my closest fren's parents had come to d college to fulfill their long withstanding dream of seein how d coll was....( i wonder y my parents don get these feelings....oh..its in genes...)...m happy my parents don't make it all d way to coll given d split up lives i lead....one gaurav at home n d opposite one at d coll...well,i n my other 2 frens were given an intro to Vivek's parents by him....v started wid making a round to the coll showcasing every positve aspect of d coll....Ya m right..SASTRA should hav asked to me market d coll...m best at it....:)..finally v decided to show dem our flat where v stick at most of d times....given d messed up condition of my renowned'oh,wat a mess' room, two guys rushed in to make sure noone there was indulged in some erotic stuff n throw d left over buds of the cig...but somehow they seemed to b impressed wid d rooms....i guess,dey were not faking it up....:)
Finally d plan was to visit d big temple at tanjore or thanjavur(watever)......its d breehadeshwara temple...one of temples listed in world's heritage site...d plan of goin to tanjore n moreover to d temple made me sick....somehow m allergic to d crowd at temples....given my passion for movin things , d still statues n d long queues drive me nuts....but i had no intention of making it known to Vivek's parents...dey had a 'bahut sidha ladka hai' impression about me.....
v were a group of six....ya i forgot to mention dat it was aunty who made us go...she was d only female member n i realised later how lazy v guys were....hats off to auntyji....!!! i n ranjan got in a bus which zoomed off n oders could'nt get it....so d trip started on a bad note....m not in dis stuff but still i felt....however v got down at d oder stop n waited for dem n went together to d temple.....
i was visiting d temple after a gap of 7 months n it was my 3rd one in 4 yrs...i said it was in my genes.....:)..wow....'look at dat'....was my call...b temple was flooded wid ppl....mostly girls...a few good lookin....i n uttam parted ways wid d rest of d group to do wat v like d most....sight seeing...v guys always fight but wen it comes to dis v r best buddies....given d crowd at the temple v din keep a track of d no' of hotties v really came across....dere were some gorgeous imported stuff(foreighners i meant)....v got a few of dem in our cameras n memories too....But d one i got dumbstruck eventfully happened to b from our coll...man...i felt a instant surge of blood rushin through my veins....though she was wid a guy(hopefully he was her bro...!!! i know its height of optimism...!!) but dat yellow suit n black dupatta got me crazy....unable to do a thing v sat down trackin her n helplessly lookin at her....it was obvious as it was my 1st crush in dis sem....don be shocked if i say i generally hav a crush on atlest 10-12 girls per sem...(it's not in my genes but my age...)v tried capturing her in camera but her well built bodyguard prevented me from doin so.....n man dere was dis huge crowd n i really had no plans of getting a PP(public pitai...!!!!)..v spend almost an hour foldin hands n beggin from god...!!!god..give me this...give me dat....i do too often....:)..an hour n a half later v were out of d revered temple....by dis time i forgot about d yellow chick i saw....ha ha ha....but indeed it was a great visual treat....much more i could hav asked for....
However wen i came back to my hostel i got haunted by d thoughts of d yellow suit chick again....more dan anythin else i desperetely needed to find her name....not bcoz i gonna talk to her but just to contain d man within me who's curious....!! guess 'll hav to follow d Sherlock Holmes pursuit n find her name....Watever m all set fa it....Hope it works out....:)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

my trail to the TCS.....!!!!

k....m writin dis blog almost a yr after i got selected in tcs(i should also mention i was among d other 314 odd ppl who all got selected...)..dis bracked thing was to avoid any eye brows raised appreciating my talent pool or applauding my intellect..only those who appear for dis recruitment drive(hell...y do dey cal it a recruitment process....315 in SASTRA n & 789 in VIT...) know its more or less a drive intended to tap d potentials of students in a well crafted ploy to outsource it....imagine working for 12 hrs a day brooding on to ur comp screens,feeding data in files n taking a salery of 20k a month.....sounds like a fairy tale....!!!..
well...have another 6 months to join d revered..(is it really...???)..so dere's no point in discussing d job profile n d opportunies i may land up with....u hear a lot from others but finally its u who feels on ur own n decides....:)...so here i m...d memories r still very clear...'ll be lying if i say i still remeber d dates....:)...i just checked it out...ya monday,19th of march,2007..d D day...it was announced around a month back about d 1st company which 'll take it go at d pre-final yr studs...TCS also conducted some orientation programmes awaring students of its pre-requisites n other quitessential things...K...before i get in my story lets listen to some prologue...barely a week before d tcs stuff my GATE'07 results got out...m sure dose eye brows raised for my appreciation of my talents will go down...i fared miserably( i guess m exaggaerating dis b'cuz i rarely studied for it...)..i din get a score...added to it a fren remarked me" der's nothing to be proud about it"...added to it v had our 2nd mid sems days before d D day...i bunked it fully just to meet my preparations...
So, d day came in...monday,19th of march...having mugged up d important gre words n practised d analytical reasoning a no. times i was quite confident of making it in my apti...but my main fear was interviews as usual....i really fail to express it out wid expressions( i still wondered how i did dat day....or i really did...)...d night of 18th was a bit too long wid d only thing revolving in my mind was d gre words....i barely slept for an hr ni could see it out d next morning in mirror.....i seemed a complete messed up...i shaved again( imagine shaving daily for 3 days....u could end up shaving ur skin only...:) )...got in my newly bought uniform for d spl day( really its a uniform , a code u gotto strictly adhere wid...).. i light blue ful sleeved t-shirt,black trousers...no tie plz now....n i was ready for d ppt(pre placement talks)..ya it was not d interview i was going for now.....i joined in my friends( aspiring employees of TCS )....v carried a note pad in just to make sure dat any spl info dey share does'nt go unnoticed....moreover wen u r drooling for a job u can't go to ur employee empty handed....i or v entered d audi an hour earlier just to make sure v get d seats n things start on a decent note ( i forgot to mention d eligible list of students were a whopping 1300+...)..n d seating capacity of d audi is just a mere 500...though other 2 audi's too were supposed to get d feed but d live performance attracts d most....:)..d gonna be ppt was supposed to start at 9 am sharp...but its INDIA guys n ppl find it essential to prove their importance n supiriority by gettin it late....d thing started at around 10 o'clock....Frens dis was d just d start....v were shown a couple of videos showing some musicians playin it out at everythin...'is dis wat u really do at TCS..???'..one of my frens asked me this inviting a welcome giggle on all faces...after dat traumatic ppt v made out ways to d notice boards to see out time slots for d apti...i was given a slot of 6:30 pm..90 mins exam means 'll be out wid d result n a hr form by 8 pm..( i was always optimistic about my results... ;) )...i spent d gap between d ppt n apti test by taking a survey of how many ppl did really make it in aptis....our initail survey was dissapointin knowin dat many prodigies also din make it in....however d guy who really got me in was my fren from cse living in my neighbour....he got in earlier n infused a positive spirit in me...
Howver d tense moments never leaves u...i got in d lab 4 along wid Gaurav Anand(a close fren of mine )....v sat in adjacent chairs just to make sure dat d 'help me my fren, m clueless' could b possible......v were given in a url ,a login id n password...i logged in a couple of mins after Gaurav did...god...!!! all dese words r new,he prompted...shocked at dis remark i gaped at my onscreen paper...k..its a synonym n d 1st word looked quite similar...d verbal reasoning was quite ok...but d quants were too too simple....u check out d old questions of tcs n u'll know d standards....now d most haunted analyticals were in front of me...but wats dis...its d same wat my neighbour told me few hrs back....i guess i was lucky... :)...10 anxious mins later d words Congrats...!!! flashed on both d adjacent screens.....time to re-joice....shakin hands wid ppl i moved out wid Gaurav n took a cig...really i needed it....d entire body was chilled off...more wid d anxiety created in d lab.....finally we made our ways in our hostel.....ya with d TCS hr form which we got..... :))

HAving cleared d aptis was not doing any good....another night was a passe widout sleep just thinking wat'll i speak out...but i had a strategy(it was a common strategy for all my frens...just say some crap but be confident like hell.....!!!)...my hr inteview was supposed to be at 11 am in morning....but as said earlier ppl again tried proving deir importance....my interview was delayed by goddamned 7 hrs....i dressed up most carefully as i could....looked ok...well anyone fitted wid a Rs 1200 worth parx shirt n an ultra expensive lee cooper shoes(they were never mine...) will look like a gentleman...another 30 mins were spent in a kind of waiting room from where v had to move out to butcher houses...oops m sorry...i meant interview rooms....i sat along with Gaurav(again) n Vikas outside d technical panelists....10 mins later i was called in....n d most awkward situation came in...dere wasn't a room...its was various cabins.....should i ask if could come in d room...??? it wasn't a room...shoold i shake my hands wid d panelists...dey looked way older dan me n included a female member too....i din do anything anyways.....i was bombarded wid a volley of questions....i appeared quite confident den..however it soon shattered off wen i failed to mumble out d newton's 1 law....i really forgot it dat time but recollected as soon as i came out...i did it again wen i failed to wap for a factorial....i really seemed to be out of my mind....comin out of d hr room or cabin ,i was brooding over my mistakes n promising not to repeat it again in the next hr interview( i had no idea dat dey did eliminate students in technicals....)i sat on d moulded chair lookin all smiling faces...my face said it all, how screwed up i was....

A few mins later as i expected i was asked to report upstairs for hr interview..i really wanted to do it fast...i was done wid all dese software stuff....all info i stored in my mind about Tcs startin hauntin me wid thoughts of i not clearin d tcs test....soon after my name was called in....8 hrs since i adorned d shoes my toes were irritating....i was all worn out....but thank god my panelists were too good...made me get at ease n few secs later i was bubbling again with my innate confidence.....i really did it well...answere them positively n i did well...!!!
dat night was even more painful wonderin if 'll be in or out....i think i did well in hr...but wat about technicals...i screwed up....frens kept motivating me about d results n kept pestering me for d next days celebrations...but deep down somewhere i kept feeling d chill.....!! next day i had my ususal classes...i did it...gave attendance fa a few...rumors started pouring in about d results as it could be out any moment....as once again d TCS ppl proved their point....we gathered in d hall right at 2 for d results...once again i sat wid Gaurav( dat deep down fear made me sit,just wanted to be 3rd time lucky...)...d proceedings started at around 4...however d final figures were way lower dan expected n we just nodded showin our disbelief n fearing a rejection finally....d long list of 315 students started getting it....ppl clapped,hugged each others n some jumped all around....finally d start of biotech names list gave me goose bumps...trust me it was d must horrifyin moment for me....somethin i could never forget off.....Gaurav Anand's name was followed by mine...since we shared same 1st name m still skeptical of date if i really made it in TCS...(just kidding guys....!!!!)...however it was traumatic 3 days for me which ended wid celebrations...it was partial though as we waited my other frens too to get placed....
a yr after wen i recollect dat moment i still feel d heat i got through with n appreciate my intellect too...!!!!well finally in a yr wen i failed at everythin literally i chipped in wid somethin...an achievement n a kick off to my career....!!!!!!!!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

m i back to normality....???????

Having posted 4 blogs in a span of 4 days really got me going....My inner self intriguing me if it me...??? a guy who finds penning down his views a daunting task much similar to Sir Ed's climbing the everest....!!!..
But m back....i guess back to d den where i created a safe niche for myself...
M a final yr b.tech student n contemporary to the popular belief m doing my project(which every engg stud is supposed to do,though rarely ppl do wid their sincerity....). More or less it's a mere formality which ends up with a decent grade...Mostly students don't give a damn to these grades...So, going on the pathways n trends set up by ppl , i decided to d same...Indulge into some cheap n impotent project inviting just a 'copy & paste' kind of hardwork....D plan was quite simple n clear...let d proj go one way,which does'nt require any work n study software stuff on d other side...(in may sound ironical but m a stud of biotech....shocked...!!!).Biotechnology which was deemed as one of the most prosperous sector after IT has somehow failed to prove its mettle...Poor infrastructure...lack of govt funds n sometimes poor human resources has done most of the casualties....Though d subjects have been dumb but d classes hav always been interesting...d male to female ratio of 1:2.3 has always created varied interests n opportunities among me(m not only d one...i mean all d guys of biotech)...But yeah its a misfortune or in my words a bold fate line in my palm dat i never got in any relation with anyone...something which sounds n seems crap to my genre of ppl but a divine asset to dose involved in it....
hmmm...where did i go....now coming to the point..despite of a strong determination of studyin softwares rather dan doin my proj a rendezvous wid a scholar guy compelled me to change my mind....just hearin of some gr8 prospects of success in a proj got me going in my dreams..Added to it...d company of another intelligent guy led me to change my mind....there was i.d other side of me....all set to back up a challenging proj which according to my guide had only 1 % success rate.....
We started wid our venture on tuesday,9th jan 2007...though d work plan was not quite clear with i having no idea wat to do next....However d sheer determination of Verma(my proj partner) helped me keep my nerves...our guide was extremely helpful and agreed to watever we asked for....imagine working wid a 8 lakh fermentor n other costly stuff.....mere carryin dem gave me goose bumps....!!!!! anyways 5 days since d onset of the project , we seem to be landing nowhere...though my guide has been very encouraging tellin us to manipulate n show anythin....Anyways it does'nt matter a lot wat u do....wat matters d most is ur sincerity and attitude.....n time n again i hav proved m deficient of it....guess dis is wat i mean wen i say or rather ask.....m i back to normality...?????

Friday, January 4, 2008

the inner call.....!!!!!!

Many times (and i am sure it happens with others too) i have been haunted and intrigued by my inner conscious or soul(what ever the name you give it to it) questioning my very existence and the impact i have made in this world....when the whole world around you blames you for being your self and for being good to others you are left with no choice but question yourself....ask yourself to change your old habit of being good and be a bit selfish rather than trying to be good and creating troubles for your own self...this other side of your psyche creates ruffles in your mind and this is what most of us refer as the inner call....
I have been thinking what to exactly write down when a lot of things keep doing rounds in my mind...suddenly this inner call thing got me in...its a human tendency...listen to its inner call most of the times...be it doing a benovalent deed or be it indulging in dreadliest of deeds....Man has always done things to contain himself,his desires n his inner call....My rendezvous wid d inner call has been a regular occasion....time n again my inner self keeps intimating me n warning me in certain perspectives about d mistakes i might be commiting....Its a fact dat all d calls made by ur inner self is not always a right one n is generally biased to any burning desires n wishes in one self.....
However dis inner self of us is a divine one n on most of the occasions leads one to a right path....
i have seen different facets of life....d time wen i roughed myself in d course of preparation for iit jee to my foray wid gate, i have seen it all....n on every occasion my inner self has felt a premonition about the possible outcomes...
After my 12th boards ( where a fared badly), a decision to drop an yr by for preparations was my very own...I had this rare feeling of craking d jee if i worked harder to my true potentials...i kept my nerves n prepared negating my inner call which kept on pestering d fact dat i lacked d very interest in books...However i clung on to wat i thought n soon my illusion was boomeranged wen i failed to even clear my screenings....To make things worse i didn't better anything in AIEEE exams...however i had no options but to get wat i was given according to my rank at AIEEE....Again i defied to wat my inner call said n took Biotech despite of i having suffered severe setbacks in biology in my higher school....Getting a seat in an engg coll for me then was more of an prestige thing n d future was d last i cared then...I was more scared of stayin a yr again at my home n listening to varied critics from my neighbours....Really,dese critics drive me wild n shoot my temper to the highest degree...Still, i don't regret my decision of joining SASTRA in pursuit of satisfaction....
The stay at SASTRA has been a phenomenonal one....d inner self of mine din leav me n tried conveying its message to me time n again......these 4 yrs have taught me wat ppl don learn in their lifetime....experienced a hell lot of things....from friendship to enemity...n from crushes to love(just kiddin....!!! )..i had it all....i started my academic career in my college on a bright note topping my class...However,the very interest of studies or d lust lost its charm from an increment in my entropy....My randomness has been a very surprising entity....or a rather shocking one.....in a journey from 1st semester to d 7th one, i have come a long way securing high sgpa of 9.33 to a shockingly low of 8.00...that expains d randomness i have been through...:)

I still remember d 1st time i smoked.....well !!! ppl hav their own explanations for my starting dis unwanted act.....but its doesn't matter me a lot....d only reason i did was a sheer curiousity to experience a new stuff....god...!! don know y ppl make such a fuss at it when it a common human phenomenon....Though my inner self proved dormant that time....It (smoking) is not an act of chivalry but neither is something to be ashamed off.....smoking may give a bad name but not a bad character....m not supporting dis menace but neither banning it completely....m saying this wen i hav almost given up this n feel pity for people who get in a habit of smoking....

However i have few precious days left in d coll....i have loved,argued n fought with a no. of ppl in coll....But before i step out of dis revered institute 'll surely make it sure dat all d scores r squared off n i finish this marathon on a happy note....n as usual my inner self is with me n will probably guide me through to wat i aim for....dat's my Inner Call.....!!!!