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Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The girlfriend effect..!!

It was 3 years back in the 3rd yr in college when i thought of writing about it. Somehow the topic eluded my mind and whenever it cropped, it took a backseat. But finally here i am.
Truth to be told and facts be dealt. Am not a boyfriend material and neither have had any history of any girl i could officially declare as my girlfriend. The closest i have ever been to girls is sitting by their sides in shared autos. Am writing this out of my sheer observation of my close friends who have had engaged or say doomed to this tryst with destiny with a girl.
From a literary point of view, a girl or a female is a classified section of human , which is subjected to intense conditions, though is an enormous source of energy, engraved with love, care and passion all over. Every chat with a female ends with tc(take care..!!) statement, a gesture which the male section never care about both literally as well as figuratively.
However, the facet which i would love to enlighten about is the after-math or rather say the evolution which an individual goes through when a lady (whom he officially recognizes as girlfriend) walks in his life, in short the Girl-Friend effect. We could easily classify the nature of effect in 3 phases which is directly related to the time spent with each other.
The 1st phase is revolved around the hysteria created by the male species for which a girl's presence becomes an inevitable part of life. People with a girl by the side becomes a topic of discussion and mostly a subject of others jealousy. And somehow this concept sounds like a melancholy to male ears. Guys with a girlfriend are pitied, envied and at the same time tagged as a guy who compromises with his principles, all by losers who have failed miserably in their numerous attempts in past to woo a girl. The fanatic search though leads to success for a few, but it’s a failure for most of the guys. The amateur guys with no past experience in wooing a chick drool out in their own world while their successful counterpart bask in the glory of their new found other half and repent at committing the mistake at the same-time.
However the most interesting aspect is the way guys woo the girl in the 1st half or rather say try to do so. In the world of gadgets, internet and 3G, still SMS remains the most convenient mean of communicating to a stranger. Text the person and if you aren’t interested, block his/her no. Its all a matter of few taps on your smart phone. Contrary to regular belief, a guy always hesitates to make the 1st move i.e. the 1st call, hence goes the SMS. After having gathered enough courage and with friends charging all around, finally the guy manages the message the shortest Text possible..”Hey wassup..??”..People’s eyes are transfixed and gazed at the cell-phone screen until the delivered status is received. The lucky ones get back their reply in the next few seconds which starts a series of chain-reactions which involves some melo-dramatic sequences, promises being made and what not crap..wherin the guy appears to be on cloud nine which the girl looking for her next victim(just kidding girls, its not always so.. :D).However the ones who donot receive their reply seem to have a panic attack, remorse for their earlier committed sin of messaging a girl(who becomes slut by now as she might be hooked to some other guy..!!).
Once in profound newly found love, a guy makes a quick transition from a careless,lousy freak to a caring, emotional and a humorous companion(I still feel the humor part is exaggerated as girls laugh at every other crap and finds all weird nuisances funny.)The monthly expenses are ruled by cellphone bills, credit card bills.The priorities suddenly changes, and a stroll with your lovelife hand-in hand becomes more satisfying than a booze with your close friends.Indeed relations changes people and so do girls, however they are the ones who after changing guys blatantly speak a year later in the most melo-dramatic way …”Oh my God..!! you have changed…!!!”.
However , this marks the 2nd phase when the beauty turns out to be a beast at times.Just like watching a Karan Johar’s flick 10 times, the remorse or guilt creeps in. Though this subtle yet persistent feeling is subdued and mellowed by the secretion of hormones at the mere context and pretext of a female proximity. Imbibed by the sense of responsibility towards the girl which slowly nurtures into an unwanted a baggage, the guy retracts and deviates from its original trajectory and does the expected i.e. breaks up which marks the 3rd and final phase of a girlfriend effect.
Numerous reasons or say excuses culminate to this phase.”I guess we were never meant for each other”,”my parents would never agree to our relation, and I would never go against their wishes” and similar phrases start a series of arguments,debates and crying sessions which finally lead to the fateful.As written, the 1st phase is the longest, interesting and the most talked about phase while the 3rd phase is like the setting Sun, which everyone feels sorry for but with time, it emerges and rises back again. It just about moving on and tracing the path which leads to betterment and improvement..!!
P.S: Am indebted to my close friends, acquaintances and foes too who all inspired and gave me a reason to write this all courtesy to their varied relations with women…thank you ppl…!!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Dard-e-dastan...32 se 36 tak..!!

To put an end to any apprehensions,conclusion,errors in judgment or whatever one would make upon reading the topic, the figures deal with my waist line and my horrific trail through it.
My story of my waist line has been much like a sinusoidal curve which has seen extreme ups and lows.It all started some countable number of years back which i do not want to remember and count right now(sheer laziness and y d hell should i..lol).My parents and my neighbors found a rare prodigy in me when i emerged a topper in class 10th, putting an end to the reign of my closest friend's era, who had occupied the coveted position as early as Upper Kinder gardens till my pre-board exams.For me the results came out of blue, left me dazed for the next 2 yrs when i made the most of time and did everything(well..yeah plz consider the age then and then decide its meaning)apart from studying religiously and fared badly in my 12th.The results came as a utter shock to my expectant parents(they expected me to do really well..!!!)..The sheer frustration of under performing and not reaching the standards started the 1st upwardly movement of my waist line.
The next 1 yr saw a an increment in the curve exponentially and my trousers had to bear the brunt.An year long stay brought an extra layer of fat with a complimentary offer of weight rise.By the end of year when i was all set for a college admission, i weighed a whopping 75 kgs with a waist line of 36 inches and looked way aged than i was.Worse still, i sported a mustache riding the 'manhood' concept i had heard from the childhood.
The curve had reached it maxima when a few factors started acting as a differential which brought a sharp decline in weight which affected my waist line too.The college was situated in hard-core tamil land which boasted of idlis,wadas,uthapams and dosais but all of the south-indian flavor.The daily dose of dosais, attus and what not took its toll on me finally and i was admitted in hospital after a viral fever.The end of fever saw me loosing some 7kgs and by the time i reached home, i weighed a mere 65 kgs and had lost a waist line of almost 2 inches.Best part, i got rid of my manhood..oops sorry my mustache.Contrary to my earlier belief i still looked and was manly...lol.
The next 3 years in college saw a certain improvisation in food but could not help my weight or waist line either.Even a tailor gave me a smirk when i approached him with a request to reduce my waist size.Even the placements were of no respite and i attained a stagnant phase when everything in life was stand still.
History has a notorious habit of repeating itself unless one does something about it.I jacked my ass at home for 5 months at home after college awaiting a call from the company i was recruited in.Home made food ,daily dose of TV soaps and regular sleep of 8-10 hrs helped when the curve zoomed in an upward fashion and moved as expected on the sinusoidal curve.
Earning money helped the cause further and 8-10 hrs of office where my movement was restricted to a mere 100 meters was slicing on the cake.An year and half later, the other half of mine i.e. my consciousness fails to recognize me and at times disown me in my worst nightmares all owing to the flabby fats all around me.My several attempts to cast off the fat have failed and off late i resort to several weird means to loosing some out of me.
Even a renaissance of my outrageous gain of weight in the past 2 yrs bring me goose bumps.Though the above narration may not be a tear-jerker but a sight of my pic taken 2 years back does bring sweat across my fore-head..God..!! how did i do this..!!

The narration is a truth with intended pun..!!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

What's in the name..!!

Words have meaning and names have power. ~Author Unknown

The name or say the noun by which we address a person is key to number of answers.I always believed a person's name sketches a clear picture about him/her.Names have unique attributes which is passed on to its bearer.No wonder, every girl by the 'Neha' not only sound beautiful but are gorgeous.People with unpronounceable names are exemplary and are way out of leagues.People who inspire their names from nature are undoubtedly smart, academically brilliant and are eye candies.However, the ones possessing a common name, leads a common life bespectacled with success of others.Names changes virtues and the way one looks at a person.
Off late with boom in technology, a person's name can open a Pandora's box.A search in social networking sites can divulge minute details about an individual, his nature, attitude and even the marital status.
But well that's my way of thinking and a small observation i made in the last 10-12 yrs of my life.Riding the current belief, i always intend to know a person's name before befriending him/her(its mostly her in most of the occasions).
My work place with buzz with female species.Though my hectic schedule leaves a little space for sighting people but over time, my multi-tasking features have honed well and my eyes hover around for any female existence in the area which can be mapped by my eyes.My search for one ended up a couple of months back when i spotted 2 girls in cafeteria.They sat in corner much like extinct species.Both of them looked good and would have been a rare treat for any male eyes.I always appreciate beauty in a decent manner and feel the appreciation should be passed on the one who's being appreciated.Unable to decide which one to go for, i made up my mind to have a tete-a-tete with whoever's name in known 1st to me.
Few months later i.e. today, one of the girls startled me when i found her sitting across my table at lunch.Wow, still she looked a master piece and a pie to go for.In the past months i noticed how she often dressed herself in white outfits.She attired in a similar way today.I feel awkward and not at ease trying to strike conversation with a new person while either of us is eating.Added to it i still did not knew her name and had no intentions of ruining my 1st impression.There are few occasions when you feel everything going your way while most of the times it the other way round.To my amazement, she stood up kept her ID card and her lunch box on the table and asked me not to let anyone sit as she'll be back in a minute.Taken aback, i gave a open jaw reply, and nodded my head saying 'Oh sure' to her.Once gone, i moved close to her ID card to check out her name but her faded name on her ID made it illegible.She was back in a minute and gave a slight grin appreciating my effort to keep her place intact.My mind vacillated between striking a conversation with her or not.Again like loser i followed my brain and chose not to speak to her.I munched my food at double the pace to finish off it faster.I slowed down at the end upon realizing that i still needed to know her name.
The urge to know her name made me look all around except her.I gathered some effort, garnished with guts and spoke to her for the 1st time.What i could only muster was asking which account she worked in.Shocked my sudden question, she answered in a word.Unable to make an eye contact any further, i rushed, almost surrendered and stood up to leave.About to leave, i stopped upon hearing "By the way I am ...."Over joyed and excited, i reciprocated.Perhaps a wonderful end to a nervous start.Could have never known the importance of a name had not her.Somehow knowing her name seemed a feat well achieved and at the end of day i treated myself with a Cornetto ice-cream.