Many times (and i am sure it happens with others too) i have been haunted and intrigued by my inner conscious or soul(what ever the name you give it to it) questioning my very existence and the impact i have made in this world....when the whole world around you blames you for being your self and for being good to others you are left with no choice but question yourself....ask yourself to change your old habit of being good and be a bit selfish rather than trying to be good and creating troubles for your own self...this other side of your psyche creates ruffles in your mind and this is what most of us refer as the inner call....
I have been thinking what to exactly write down when a lot of things keep doing rounds in my mind...suddenly this inner call thing got me in...its a human tendency...listen to its inner call most of the times...be it doing a benovalent deed or be it indulging in dreadliest of deeds....Man has always done things to contain himself,his desires n his inner call....My rendezvous wid d inner call has been a regular occasion....time n again my inner self keeps intimating me n warning me in certain perspectives about d mistakes i might be commiting....Its a fact dat all d calls made by ur inner self is not always a right one n is generally biased to any burning desires n wishes in one self.....
However dis inner self of us is a divine one n on most of the occasions leads one to a right path....
i have seen different facets of life....d time wen i roughed myself in d course of preparation for iit jee to my foray wid gate, i have seen it all....n on every occasion my inner self has felt a premonition about the possible outcomes...
After my 12th boards ( where a fared badly), a decision to drop an yr by for preparations was my very own...I had this rare feeling of craking d jee if i worked harder to my true potentials...i kept my nerves n prepared negating my inner call which kept on pestering d fact dat i lacked d very interest in books...However i clung on to wat i thought n soon my illusion was boomeranged wen i failed to even clear my screenings....To make things worse i didn't better anything in AIEEE exams...however i had no options but to get wat i was given according to my rank at AIEEE....Again i defied to wat my inner call said n took Biotech despite of i having suffered severe setbacks in biology in my higher school....Getting a seat in an engg coll for me then was more of an prestige thing n d future was d last i cared then...I was more scared of stayin a yr again at my home n listening to varied critics from my neighbours....Really,dese critics drive me wild n shoot my temper to the highest degree...Still, i don't regret my decision of joining SASTRA in pursuit of satisfaction....
The stay at SASTRA has been a phenomenonal one....d inner self of mine din leav me n tried conveying its message to me time n again......these 4 yrs have taught me wat ppl don learn in their lifetime....experienced a hell lot of things....from friendship to enemity...n from crushes to love(just kiddin....!!! )..i had it all....i started my academic career in my college on a bright note topping my class...However,the very interest of studies or d lust lost its charm from an increment in my entropy....My randomness has been a very surprising entity....or a rather shocking one.....in a journey from 1st semester to d 7th one, i have come a long way securing high sgpa of 9.33 to a shockingly low of 8.00...that expains d randomness i have been through...:)
I still remember d 1st time i smoked.....well !!! ppl hav their own explanations for my starting dis unwanted act.....but its doesn't matter me a lot....d only reason i did was a sheer curiousity to experience a new stuff....god...!! don know y ppl make such a fuss at it when it a common human phenomenon....Though my inner self proved dormant that time....It (smoking) is not an act of chivalry but neither is something to be ashamed off.....smoking may give a bad name but not a bad character....m not supporting dis menace but neither banning it completely....m saying this wen i hav almost given up this n feel pity for people who get in a habit of smoking....
However i have few precious days left in d coll....i have loved,argued n fought with a no. of ppl in coll....But before i step out of dis revered institute 'll surely make it sure dat all d scores r squared off n i finish this marathon on a happy note....n as usual my inner self is with me n will probably guide me through to wat i aim for....dat's my Inner Call.....!!!!
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