Time n again i hav refrained myself from bein d better half of mine....d part which is less repulsive..calm..composed n d one which earns me a good name...but its like moving towards oblivion...every step of mine inches me towards it...d more i try to be someone who's d best d other half of mine sprangs to life with utmost force...
bein someone who has aways tried to be sincere atleast wen relations r concerned a few things pain.....wen ur closed ones move their back against u..d worse thing about me is m simply unable to backtalk about my frens...i hav a doubt n bang in...!!!..offlate ppl hav termed n infact also trashed me sayin m too demanding....m not fully sure but is d fact dat expectin ur sister to talk to u once a week is demanding....askin ur fren to meet someday is demandin..or is it expectin a hi or a simple smile on a fren's face ?? m simply clueless.....ppl say m too sensitive n take things on a very serious note.....damn it..!! i have always felt i hav been right no matter wat d world says....yeah.. i accept d fact dat m short tempered, harsh wid my words n often too critical n sarcastic wid my tongue but dat r my inborn traits n ppl who once claimed to be my closest buddies did knew about dis innate nature of mine....i wonder d most wen things which seemed a unique charcater of mine to ppl is somehow destablisin dem now....ppl feel bad wen i say anythin....come on..!! u talk to me after a month of exile..how can u expect to be let go widout a few critical words..
added to dis bundle of surprises...my class organising a farewelll....more of a get together( read it as an extravaganza just to promote interaction among ppl..) yup..i meant interaction only....3 yrs as a class n words like manage,interaction still comes wen a class get together has to be organized....last nite i got a msg sayin or rather informin me n a classmate of mine of dis farewell..!! taken aback it took me nothin less dan 300 odd seconds to think wat to reply...somethin which would tempt ppl to understand my lack of interest for dis....my excuse was simple n i thought fair enuf..somethin wich i had used in my past to evade many trips...financial crunch...but i had no idea dat dis reply wud trigger a chain of disputes...i guess at d 1st case i hurt d person who took pains to type in d msg n get it delivered to me(seriously man..i appluad any effort of anyone who msgs me....!!!) den another fren(who happens to be a girl) who i do respect d most called my fren to assess d current situation..my fren who is someone 'i don't wanna any controversies' types thot it better to pass d baton to me...raisin my voice phone is somethin i really hate..1st of all u let everyone around u know about ur pissed off situation....added to it chances of havin any effect on d oder side is less likely....n d last thing which i had in my mind was to blame dis fren who was at no fault of hers....my point was very simple...y should v follow others n do wat dey r doin...i really admired d way a get together was organized at d last day of coll....all enjoyed n had fun...i don't see reason y ppl should travel to 8 kms far in dis extemely hot weather n hav a lunch in some starred restuarants....added to it i din talk to half d ppl of d grp supposed to join me as a class....80% of my classmates were unknown to me...sayin 'hi' to dem wen i went across dem was surely out of contentions....but wat was more terrifyin was d remainin 15% whom i knew even was out of reach n sometimes i felt it was a rather 100% who was unaccessable to me...exceptions r dere though....wen u talk like dis ppl tend to find ur fault at it...but i felt glad wen my fren voiced a similar opinion...guess he's not dat vocal n tries hard to lash it out...but noways i'll accept somethin lik dis..
don know but wat i feel is still dere r ppl who feel m right...may b not many..i hav done dis many a times...analyse myself n fight my pseudeintellect to finally conclude m on d right way..coupled wid dese thots i feel i get to be d villian once again...despite of attempts( i won't say it was brave ones) i played a spoil sport puttin many dreams n aspirations in a turmoil...but i know m right wid my words n do standby it....!!!!!!