The one at the ticket counter : Our 1st encounter

“Excuse me” someone yelled in a hurried voice. When at a public place, you don’t respond to random excuse me’s and that too coming from a lady would certainly not be addressed to me. I kept doing what I was best at, minding my own business. 2 seconds later, another “excuse me” and a gentle tap on my shoulders startled me. It was for me, I thought and my heart skipped a beat. The police within me started questioning me if I stared at someone, or said something aloud which I shouldn’t have. I looked back to find a lady in her mid twenties, clad in a pink top and jeans. Her bigger-than-face shades did injustice to her otherwise pretty face. “Is this the counter for getting the online tickets?”, she interrogated me. I replied with a cool “Ahaan !!”, stole a glance of hers and looked in front. I was groggy having slept less than 3 hours the last night and this was the worse that could have happened, a pretty girl talking to me when I was not looking my best. I cursed my room-mate, a die hard Salman Khan fan. He somehow coaxed me into accompanying him for the 1^st day 1^st show of Bhai’s latest adventure, “Ek tha tiger”. I hated Salman Khan for his shitty movies, and now my room mate too, for waking me up so early in the morning, just to see a stupid movie.

The counter had not opened yet and the crowd kept coming in. I seriously expected a stampede to happen any second. People jostled their way to the ticket counter. I was genuinely concerned about the damsel in distress, who stood behind me. For a second, I thought of asking her to move in front of me, but the sight of crowd which was still coming in huge number made me change my mind. “You a big Salman khan fan”, she said as she tried to start a conversation. “Big Salman Khan fan ??”, I felt as if someone abused me publicly. “Well, I was kind of forced into it. I don’t understand his logic defying films, but since it was off day and I did not have anything to do, sitting in an otherwise air-conditioned room was after all not a bad idea”. She broke into pearls of laughter. “Really, you don’t like Salman”, she questioned the sanctity of my earlier statement. “I do not lie to pretty ladies”, I tried my own ways to flirt with her. As I said this, we both laughed and I could observe a number of raised eyebrows though my peripheral vision. I hitting on a pretty lady, right in front of ever bachelor “Bhai” fans, was certainly not a very pleasant sight.

“Its so hot out here, why can’t they have a shade for the patrons atleast”, she complained with her eyebrows raised. “You are at Talkie town, which offers ticket at less than half a price of what PVR does, what do you expect”, would have been my usual response. “Yeah, no one cares about the customer”, I joined the band wagon and cribbed about the perils of seeing a movie. “You alone for the movie”, I couldn’t resist asking her. My deepest insecurities told me that, she was here probably with her boyfriend (had ruled out the fact that she was married from a single glance), or with her family, both could have been highly catastrophic for my new found profound interest in her. “I am here with my roomies”, she pointed out to gang of ladies, all of whom wore shades of different shapes and sizes. Now, I was in complete fix. Is she the one for me, or could she be my wingman, to get her prettier room-mate. I contemplated, looked at the pros and cons, and finally decided to settle in for the buck I had in my hand. “How about you ?” she boomeranged the same question to me. I would have easily lied that I was alone and joined the girls gang, but I realized I had earlier told her, how I was cajoled into seeing this movie, so I had to utter out the truth.

I was still playing like a rookie before showing my prowess at impressing a chick, when the ticket counter opened with a bang. I had no other option, but to help myself with the ticket. I earned some grey points by getting her the tickets too and helped ourselves out of the crowd. It was time for the show and my room-mate who was waiting for me at the entrance started panicking. He started calling me at the same time when I had to bid adieu to my new princess. “Damn!!”, I said to myself after putting my cell in the silent mode. “Well, thanks a lot” she said. Before I could say any other word she followed it up with a “Bbye, see you around” giggled and hopped back to her gang.

I was perplexed. “See you around ??”, but how ?? Did she know me or even my name. May be she knew me from some common friends, or was she just fooling around and used me to get the tickets in the crowd. The latter made a lot of sense. I stood there brooding, feeling used and strolled my way upto the entrance of the theatre. “What happened ? Did someone kick your ass in the crowd”, my room mate joked seeing me upset.”Yeah, kind of”, I replied to him. I wasn’t sure if she used me or I let myself being used. Either ways, I had a company of a hot female in the crowd, made quite a few guys jealous in there. As we stepped in the theatre, I looked all around if I could see her or any of her friends. It was pitch dark in there and that made it literally impossible to find her. I just wanted to walk upto her and ask if she just wanted to get the tickets or striking a conversation with a random stranger was the part of her plan. I decided never to help any female unless they asked about it explicitly, ever. I decided to concentrate on the cheap samosa and popcorms rather than brood about some female whom I met hardly a minute ago.

I was sure I would never see her again, even if I did,  will not recognize her, and even if I did recognize her, she would pretend she did not. Never did I know that not even a month later, I would see her again, at a chaat counter, at my colleague’s wedding reception. “Oh its sooo spicy, can you get me some water”, she yelled at the same hurried tone, I couldn’t help looking back as the voice was very very familiar. Damn, it was her, with water coming out of her kohl lined eyes, induced by the extra spiciness of the chaat. She was trying hard to keep her make up intact, when she looked up and caught me staring at her.

The valentine's day!!

“Wow, they are soooo pretty. I love them”. She exclaimed with extreme joy. The glitter in her eyes did corroborate her statements. The efforts which I had put in over the last few days completely paid off. Her smile was way too compelling and I tried hard not to kiss her. Her light pink formal shirt complimented the crystal blue pendant. I fell in love with her once again. She acted as if blushing when I kept staring at her for a few seconds and said ”Its already late mister, don’t have some wild thoughts. Lets go home”.

We neared her place, but I wanted the time to stand still. I could not let her go, though I knew I would meet her again the very next day. As we neared the lane to her place, it was as if she read my mind. “Want to go for a drive” she uttered or rather commanded. “What about your parents, won’t they worry for you”, I replied back in a reassuring tone. “Its OK, I know how to manage things”, she said as we took the flyover instead of left turn.

I had no clue how times had changed. We had graduated from buddies, to close friends and I tried hard to believe that with the acceptance of the gift, the relation took to a romantic turn. We both knew about it, but were too skeptical to confront it. She started to talk, as we hit the highway. “I wanna change the song to Raabta”. She was a big Arijit singh fan and the romantic number was icing on an already romantic night, which I was having with the lady I loved the most. I couldn’t have asked for more.

“Don’t you like him”, she asked poking me and waking me up from my thoughts. “I don’t like men, but yeah I like his songs though”, I said in a playful tone. We have known each other for ages, went over coffee a zillion times, but today it was different. I took cognizance of the moment and put my palm on hers. She held my hand in hers and our fingers intertwined. “You are an idiot, a big one” she said with a broad grin on her face. “I knew all along, right from the day you asked me out for coffee, lying your parents that you were going to office. It took you so long”. “Wow”, I thought. She knew about it and pretended all long.

Me : “You don’t know a thing, I have this feeling for you since I don’t know, 6 months”.

Her : “You’re kidding, aren’t you. I thought you liked Sneha and you two guys had something going on”.

Me : “The only person I had anything going for was you”.

Her : “So, what next. Where does this go to”.

Me : “This road goes to the airport, we can have a midnight meal at the McDonalds on our way back”. I replied back, though I knew she did not mean to ask that.

Her : “Nooo, I mean are we dating.?? Gosh, I can’t believe I am dating you.”

Me : “Am I an extinct species that you cannot believe that fact.”

Her : “You were my best friend. I don’t want to screw up things, as to now we both will have more expectations from each other.” She sounded quite pragmatic.

Me : “Nothing changes, we are still the best buddies. And trust me, I won’t disappoint you. I will be along your side no matter what happens.” I said with a lot of emotion and authority in my tone.

She came close to me and put her head on my left shoulder. I could feel her breath and smell the cologne, which were irresistible. We kept driving on the dark corridors aimlessly for the next hour, without speaking much. It was the company more than the words, which did the magic.

I dropped her at her place and as I turned back, she tapped on my shoulders. She hugged me tightly and gave a peck on my cheek. She whispered “Happy valentine’s day” in my ears and hopped towards the lift. She didn’t look back, but I stood there frozen in time and space.

P.S. : Yet again, a work of fiction.

Nothing beats a text message from someone you are in love with and nothing spoils your mood more than a promotional call/message when you are expecting the same from your beloved with a bated breath. “Did she love me”, i contemplated and speculated, while reasoning myself why or why not the hottest chick(as she was referred to) of our section would even date me. We were spotted together many a times, more than the number which graduated our relationship a step higher than just friends.

86400 is the number of seconds in a day, and if you deduct a few seconds, the balance is what i spent out of my day brooding about her, thinking what it really meant if at all it did any. It was complex relationship, atleast that was what i thought of. If coincidences were ever meant to be the way it is, the mother of all coincidence was the fact that the culmination of this complex relationship happened in maths class, when the teacher taught us complex numbers. I stepped in the class earlier than my friends for no rhyme or reason and took our routine last row. As i took the 2nd chair in the last row, leaving the other 4 for my friends who were coming in, my friends deserted me by taking the empty 1st row. I had no idea, what had gotten in them, but suddenly i felt like a loner. I has an instant urge to get up and join them in the front rows, but my ego got better of me. When i look back today, i realize how its always better to listen to your instincts.

I was furious from within. I uttered a thousand curses for my friends, who could and should have included me in their evil plans.In a few seconds my friends had turned foe for me and i was weighing this small silly act of theirs as a potential war against me. If at all there was an award for exaggerating tiny things to proportions, i can always be a potential winner. For now, my face had turned red, and i was planning a coup to avenge myself. As my mind was still busy trying to figure something out, she stepped in the class with her best friend. Lets call her X for privacy reasons. Clad in pink cotton suit, the couple of pretty ladies found their seats already taken by the bunch of guys, whom i were planning to unfriend a few seconds back. She looked puzzled as this had never happened in the past 1 year. As the class had already started, teacher was scribbling away some Hebrew to glory. I looked around to see the empty seats where they could possibly accommodate themselves. There weren’t any except the ones right besides me.

The proposition of an incoming opportunity threw open the barrage of emotions. The frown on my face gave space to some excitement and extreme pleasure.3 empty chairs meant she could have easily ignored chair adjacent to mine and taken the other two. I sat straight looking cool and attentive as they made their way to the last row. And bingo, she sat right besides me. As she settled down, the tinkling of her anklets and her ‘i-dont-what-but-awesome’ perfume gave me a startling sensation. “Hey”, she started the talk, yeah, i say talk because thats how it went on. I made the most of the opportunity, threw a volley of queries, jokes and other random ways to indulge into what we call a “healthy” conversation. “Damn, she was smart”. My infatuation scaled a notch higher with the sudden revelation of her intellect. 

Just another week day!!

Like all things in life, my interests took a backseat giving in way for my career, relationships, and all the materialistic desires of life. However, the reality dawned upon to me last night, that nothing calms me more than scribbling in my thoughts(i tried everything right from talking to myself to spending quite some time to get some sleep). So, here I am. Back, not with bang, but with a more subtle outlook towards things. I had a series of unfinished writeups, and i would be publishing the ones which has some interesting content worth sharing. 

Just another week day!!

The alarm went off right at its scheduled time. The sound of beeps in continuous intervals did nothing to wake me up.I turned off  the alarm with my left hand with a simple slide across to the left on the touch panel. Touch screen has its own share of benefits. I was a pertinent victim of procrastination, 3 days in a row. But today it was different. The fact that i hardly slept for 4 hrs the last night took its toll on me. There was something irking in any corner of my mind. 

I woke up an hour later than my scheduled time. Distraught, anger, frustration and disgust were the first thoughts which made its way in my mind as soon as i came to my senses. I was still lying on my bed contemplating my next move, when my room mate announced how he had received the latest updated of Android L on his nexus 4. Yeah, he has an Android L now, while I have made peace with Android Jellybean. 5 months : thats the duration after which he had bought his smart phone after i did a couple of years back. Even technology looked down upon me, and found me not worthy of its latest updates. Screw Samsung!!, I uttered so loud that it could have been heard at its headquarters in South Korea.

My name is Bond, James Bond - I

Prologue:

The sound of a gun-shot woke up Davis in the middle of night. For a moment he brushed aside the incident as a mere night-mare, but the noise of birds starting to chirp at the same-time, made him realise that something did happen. He got out of his bed in a haste, and looked out. He tried hard to peek out in the dark skyline of Seattle, seeing nothing. He looked around and it was then that he found his neighbour’s lights were turned on. He stepped out in his balcony, to see something inside the glass windows of his neighbour, which looked messed up, as if it was not cleaned for ages. Something looked splattered all over the glass, and it didn’t take long for him to figure out that it was blood all over. Davis, panicked, and called 911. The police arrived with paramedics and broke open the apartment. A man in his early 30s, with sharp features and clad in a tuxedo lied on the floor. He did not have any pulse and the paramedics pronounced him dead. To his right was a 9mm Beretta, which made the incident appear like a suicide. Davis had never seen this man earlier. The police looked around the apartment and found nothing. On searching the body of the deceased, they found a note in his tuxedo pocket, which read “Codename: 007”.


A MI5 agent, a modern age spy, popularly known as James Bond painted a scary picture in the mind of other spy agencies across the globe. No-one except Jonathan knew what his real name was, even his passport sported his alias name. A student par excellence, Jonathan made a mark in sports too at school. He was a prodigal child, and was awarded best outgoing student in his final year at university. None knew about his where-abouts after his 6 years of stint at the renowned Cambridge. With no immediate family members, Jonathan’s close friends at college couldn’t reach out to him. It was a year later that Jonathan was identified as one of the victims of Air France 324 which crashed in the Atlantic. His body was never found and neither was his memorial ever conducted.

The entire operation to fake Jonathan’s death was approved by senior official at 10 Downing Street. The idea was to conceal his identity. The British intelligence trailed him ever since he cracked an online Psychometric test with exceptional scores. He was hand-picked by Mr. Sheen, who headed the Brit spy induction program. People at the agency said that he has a knack of finding a raw talent and making Jonathan an indispensable agent within a year. Since Jonathan was the 1st recruit of the 7th batch of the agency, he was code named as 007. Mr. Sheen personally gave him the alias name of James Bond for all his covert operations.

It all started with an operation to rescue an asset from a hostile territory, Jonathan had more than 70% success rate in more than 40 operations which he led in less than 5 years. He was looked upon and admired at the agency. It was this unblemished carrier of his, which made him MI5’s prized possession.
Fresh from his success of Operation Ransack, Jonathan was summoned by the head of Specialist Protection branch, the security detail for the British Prime minister and its family members, also popularly known as SO1. He was assigned the job of escorting the 1st lady of UK, on her trip to Seattle, WA to address the alumni meet of Seattle University. Though CIA had issued no threat to the 1st lady’s visit to States, Jonathan was inducted taking into consideration the imminent threat the British 1st family possessed always. Post 9/11, foreign diplomats have stopped considering US as a safe haven. The entire Operation was named as White Rabbit and involved keeping a track of Ms. Clara’s security, and her safe passage back to home and Jonathan was asked the lead the team of 10 agents. It was another Operation for the seasoned field agents. However, 4 hours before the Air Force flight 443’s schedule departure from London Heathrow International airport, a red alert was sounded by MI5. The intelligence was tipped off by their Indian counterparts who claimed that the Islamic activists plan to create a hostage situation, by kidnapping the 1st lady. MI5 knew the information was credible enough, as the Indian agency found maps of Seattle University and also the itinerary of Ms. Clara’s visit, when they decrypted some emails sent from Islamic handlers in Peshwar, Pakistan to Washington, US.

                                                                              -- To be continued ....

A pedestrian is a person traveling on foot, whether walking or running !!

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
- George Carlin
Over a decade, I have driven all sorts of vehicle and realized that nothing pisses off a person behind the wheels more than a pedestrian, trying to make his/her way across the road. I donot have anything in particular against these people, because not very long ago, I was one of them. This is a piece of satire and should be taken that way, and anyone getting offended by this, I have just one thing to say, “Yeah, I don’t give a damn just like you do when you walk on the road”.
So, here you go, the 10 classic types of people who walk down the street every other second. See, where you fit the bill :


The Daredevils : This rare sect of people cross the roads as if they were giving auditions for Khatron Ke khiladi. They comprise of all age groups and race against the time.. oops the traffic signal. They patiently wait until the signal turns green and run perpendicular to the incoming vehicles. They are recipient of maximum abuses, which are hurled at them by almost every driver crossing the road at that instant. This rare feat should in all probability make them one of the front-runner in the unique category for World records: One who received maximum gaalis (abuses) at a instance.

I don’t give a fuck types : You would find them often in narrow lanes where they are the self-proclaimed goons. They don’t give a damn weather you are driving a mobike or a bloody Hummer and honking at them. They cross the road at their own pace as when required. I once saw such a creature standing in the middle of a road and digging away his nose in glory. The traffic stood still until he was done with his filth and decided to move on.

The hesitant ones : They are the utmost confused species ever known to human race. They step back and forth waiting for a catastrophe to happen. These habitual offenders are not only confused, they confuse the one behind the wheels too and keep them guessing till the moment of eternity.

The cell phone lovers : Well, well well !!! Women have been a strong contender of this category even since cellphones became a fashion statement. They love their smart devices more than their boyfriends and also more than their lives. Every time, they step onto the road, they have a extreme desire of using this device at their disposal and start talking over it and it happens every time.
P.S : Pardon me for my male biased writing here, but men would have been a contender here, if the classification said asshole drivers who like to talk while they drive.

Roadies : Clad in skin fit tees, bulging biceps and sometimes a protruding belly, irrelevant of the fact that where they are then, they cross the traffic as if they are walking down the aisle in front of Raghu and Rajeev. The most interesting aspect is they origin from any place in and around NCR or Punjab.

Upar waale ke naam pe de : Ahh, the begger and the Eunuchs, who earn their livelihood off the traffic signal. It is an organized business where the painfully old begger(would die even if a vehicle honked a couple of times at him) make sure that every car window is knocked, while the eunuchs give the 2 wheelers a run for their money, the target victim being a male, anywhere between 15-50 .

The drunken ones : Perhaps, the worse section of all, not because they create most nonsense, but because they are the group of daily wage earners, who blow off their day’s income on cheap liquor and venture out on roads, for some adrenaline rush. They are found hovering the roads mostly after mid-night. If one murder was allowed by Indian Penal Code, perhaps this class would have been the ones mostly knocked off by people behind the wheels.

PYT : The pretty young things. They possess immense power and can literally freeze the traffic on their arrival. Trust me , as a driver, we look upto them with extreme respect, switch off the ignition, stop the traffic, just as to ensure their safe passage across the traffic menace. Those 30 seconds are the period, when every person in the traffic lives his fantasy. Invariable of who the PYT is, they possess a smartphone, held tightly to her ear and they don’t give a damn to anyone, be it a person on road or the traffic.

The Aam aadmi : The mango people or the middle class. They are always in whiff, highly impatient and want to be the 1st to cross the road, as if it would lead in sharp decline in inflation and prices of essential goods. Irrespective of their age or gender, they look nonchalant and constipated.

The toddle/Elderly : I was once told that a new born is equivalent to an elderly. They show the same characteristic on road too. A kid who has just started to run, gets a sudden urge to run across the road everytime they see a vehicle pass through.

And at the end :

There are two kinds of pedestrians... the quick and the dead.
-Thomas Dewar

After Lok sabha election results, MNCs freeze campus hiring

Taking a cue from the fresh electoral mandate pouring in from every nook and corner of Indian television like greenhouse gases, the Association of IT Companies decided to shy away from campus recruitments from immediate effect. It was more or less the drubbing of Aam Aadmi Party which has prompted such a step. “The campus hires have absolutely no experience about the industry, they talk a lot of ideologies, want to change the system by making it more streamlined and efficient, something which we don’t really need at this hour” said one of the premier associate member of this elite group on conditions of anonymity.


Over the years, most of IT Conglomerates depended on Tier-2 and Tier-3 Engg. College which provided them enough quota of bench strength. Not only these new hires were recruited for peanuts, but they also led to an increased work force or rather say resources and man power. However, a not so independent survey conducted by AC Nelson Mandela, 40-50% of these new hires either left the company for higher studies or for better packages. The parent companies spent lakhs of rupees on appeasing these new low paid hires by conducting random and occasional events like fashion shows, Independence day celebrations, etc. . The survey proved the market pundits wrong yet again. The severe losses made by the new party AAP in Lok sabha 2014 elections was the final nail in the coffin. “That is it”, said Aziz Shah, CEO of Bata Consultancy Services(BCS). ”We spend a tremendous amount of capital recruiting these new hires, most of our experience managers who donot have any work take only interviews for this purpose and then training(read appeasing) them. And the end result is preposterous. One of campus recruits left us saying she was getting married, the last heard she switched her loyalties to our competitor”, he added later.


The engineering students all over the country, which has been hit hard by this sudden move has joined hands and promised a national movement followed by dharnas. “This whole system is flawed.. Freshers being fickle minded is just a pretext used by the MNCs, instead they have their own interests in it. We(freshers) tend to do better than their experienced lot and that leads to EPs(exp. Professionals) being expelled. They are just being protective about their own jobs and trying to cut down the competition. And the whole idea is illegal and biased. And this is what we are fighting for”, said Anand Kejriwal, popularly known as AK among this batch mates. He continued further saying “This is not my fight, its fight of all the common engineering students who cannot afford to be entrepreneurs, both financially and intellectually”. Our correspondent had to literally pull away his microphone, to stop him from saying any further.


With campus hiring coming to end, there is sense of jubilation among experienced lot. “There has been a sudden surge of more than 30% of people uploading their resumes on our sites”, said the spokesperson from Shine.com, whose only source of traffic otherwise was spasm mails sent to an individual. Narad Moody aka NaMo who worked up his ranks from a software engineer to Delivery Head uploaded his selfie on his official twitter handler showing a victory sign. “These kids(freshers) were never a competition. A lot of hoopla had been created around them. I am happy that finally we have won”, he said with a broad smile on his face. When asked if even he was a fresher at some point of time, he cooked up a story saying how he served tea to professionals early in his career and move up the ranks. We found his story a mere fiction in our internal verifications.


Whatever the intent may be, AK has decided not to sit back and relax. He admits that his batch mates have made mistakes in past and they should have taken their peers in confidence before making a switch. He said that there is a wide spread resentment among his and other college students, and they are ready to take on people like NaMo. However, he never clarified how they planned to do so despite of our correspondent probing about it. “We are engineering students, we never plan this in advance, it would be an impromptu act”, said someone feebly from the crowd, but was hushed up by AK.