This is a part of a bigger context which i have been working for quite sometime.After a long passage of time, i re-started working on it and wanted to share a small portion of it which i wrote today.Hope you all like it and as always nothing beats a comment below the blog.Thanks!



I was doing what i was best at, flipping my fountain pen between my fingers. I made sure the cap was turned ON as like the last time,spilling the royal blue ink on the shirt of the girl sitting right in front of me was the last thing in my mind.I scanned around the examination hall as i still fondled with the pen.This was certainly the best i could have done at that time as the next or say the last 4 questions were not only uncomprehending but also unanswerable. I was clueless, but still could have written something which would have fetched me a mark or two.While my fellow class-mates furiously raced on the answer sheets, I gave a wry smile.It was weird given the fact that I never scored less that 80% on any given day and in any exam.I recalculated the least marks I could have scored even if I left the rest of the questions. Though my mind wanted to be strict with the evaluation, my heart made generous attempts with score.My analysis showed that I would still pass and with marks way above the border line.I kept staring around when the invigilator stood next to me.Its insane when someone starts to have a sneak-peek in your answer-sheets expecting a lot and you have nothing to offer.Its same for a fellow student or a teacher cum invigilator.That day I would have disappointed anyone.
The teacher who had adorn the role of invigilator after staring for more than 20 seconds on my answer-sheet could resist herself from asking "What are you upto.?Finish your paper soon.The time's running out".I glanced at her,shrugged my shoulders and gave a "I dont know the answers Ma'am" look. The sheer disappointment was writ large on her face.I imagined how similar anger imbibed with disappointment would also be clearly visible on my parents face too, once my results came out.The sudden realization of reality made me panic and i took my pen and flipped the paper again in an attempt to save the last minute honor and pride. The efforts went in vain as i stil didnt have any idea about the remaining questions. The english written seemed hebrew and greek to me. I wondered why I played anawares to the questions when the entire class curiously kept writing in.Well !! I hadnt studied 3 chapters from where the questions emerged. Now the question was why. What exactly was i doing the earlier night. My last night deed was sitting in the other class, as her roll number came before me and was seated in class different to mine.Shit! I thought, had she been seated in this class,I would have stared at her rather than getting anxious and wasting my time. The girl with whom I had my 1st date in the school canteen a week back had suddenly become my need if not the necessity. I looked at my watch which showed 12.15pm, 15 minutes still to go before the final bell rang, and i suddenly drowned in the flash back of the last night events.
I was done with more than 70% of my syllabus when the bell rang. My class-mate and my rival in class had come in with a doubt.Infact he had rather come to keep a check on my progress with the subject and if he had his will, to sabotage it.I still had 3 hrs to go before the clock struck 11pm, the time when i would start my revisions. I felt like extending the break i took courtesy my rival friend and i logged on to internet to spend the next 10 minutes.I setup an alarm to ensure that the 10 minutes didnt last for an hour. I signed in to Gtalk to see if any of the other guys were online.Truth to be told, i wanted to check if she was online and pass on a few study tips to her. This is what the geeks and the studious types do, rather than sending pleasantries, they pass on study tips. She was online with the busy status and the status message being ":(:(:(".I clicked on her name trying to check out what the plural smilies meant.Since, the larger part of my mind was occupied with life sciences and other biological things, i fumbled to type anything.I closed the window and was about to sign out when she pinged me.It was like a deja vu moment.
Her: Hey, done with your studies i guess!
Me: Are you asking or telling me.. :D
Her: Asking you as i am yet to start. :-/
The beep sounds from my alarm startled me.I pressed the cancel button to switch off the alarm.
Me: Oh..! y..Dont you have your class notes ???
The multiple question-marks were for the extra attention i was showering at her.
Her: I have but noone helps me despite of having studious friends in the class.
The heart skipped at beat.Did she mean me?I was studious for sure but never before in past had she asked me to teach her.I would have surely obliged and would have been infact loved to do it.
Me: Oh.. who are those stupid friend's of urs ?
Words such as 'stupid','idiot','insane' which would have made me go really insane, if used by any guy for me, had a completely opposite effect when a girl used it.And if that girl was hot, the feeling compounded itself.All boys i guess feel the same.
Her: Well.. one of the stupid ones is chatting with me right now :P
There you go!.. wow...I am so stupid.I loved it.
Me: Are you chatting with some other guy too :P
I tried to pull her leg
Her: No, but if i did, will that bother you ?
By now, we had completely deviated away from the topic we started with "Studies".And i had no sense of realization about it.
Me: Hmm...How do i escape being un-bothered seeing the girl of my 1st date chatting with someone else.! :)
Her: So sweet of you.! but by the way, that was not a date. How can just a samosa be date, you cheapo :P
Me : Oh, i thought it was :)
As soon as i pressed enter after typing the above statement, i got a message. The user "puprplehaze" is no longer online!
Now that was ambiguous.She left leaving many questions unanswered.Did she like me being bothered ? Did she think it wasn't a date.? Did she expect another date with me?
I spent the next 30 minutes trying to figure out what she meant and in what context.I could no longer concentrate in the books and somehow I had a feeling that the shrewd neighbor of mine had conspired the entire sent of events. Damn! he seemed to have really succeeded in his attempts. My mum shouted my name for dinner as i cursed myself and the competitive neighbor of mine for the nth time.As i gulped the 3rd roti, a beep took all my attention.Somebody had pinged me on Gtalk, where i was stil logged in.Noone except me noticed that as my concentration was still transfixed at the girl who called me 'cheap' an hour back.I excused myself from the rest of dinner saying I had to study late, so wont be eating a lot.My mum was about to play her regular concerned pre-recorded "khayega nahi to padhega kaise" message, when Dad intervened and asked me to carry on. I jumped off the dining table and headed straight to the desktop rather than the washroom. It was her!!. My unbound excitement reached no limits and I spent the next 2 hrs chatting with her. No, still none of my answers were answered, I stil was 'chaep' and had to treat her in a better restuarant despite of the fact that it was me who helped her out by escorting her home.And above all i wasnt complaining.
As the clock struck 12, she logged off saying a flurry of byes and sweet dreams in a single go.I logged of my pc, and stared at the blank monitor for the next few minutes.I never realized how a broad smile also companied my staring eyes.I was too excited and pumped up to study any furthur.I wrapped my books, took a notebook and crashed on bed.People say you lose your sleep when you are in love, but i fell asleep as soon as i closed my eyes. The next 6 hours i dreamt of nothing but her.My dreams were shattered when my alarm went off at 6 Am in morning. Though i panicked for not having studied the last 3 chapters, but on looking at the larger picture where i got to be with her, it calmed me down. Though i didnt sleep back, i gazed at the roof top with eyes wide open, thinking about her.
The shriek noise of the final bell brought me back to the examination hall.Before i could react any furthur, my answer sheets were snatched off my desk as if it was an entity of a paramount importance.I hurried out of the class looking for her, unware of the truth that she didnt come for the exam. I hogged around in the school searching for her before i dragged my bicycle out of the school campus.

Dedicated to all my friends at college hostel. Really miss those days :)

A blast of an agonizing odor filled the room as soon as my room-mate opened the door toilet attached to our room.What followed was a series of abuses and curses he uttered at me for the next 10 minutes. The culprit of the unenduring situation in which my room and my other room-mates was my clothes soaked in water and a sachet of Surf excel for the past 3 days. Now the lime-n-lemony flavor of the detergent powder stinked like puke and I was sure that if I didn’t make a move it would have certainly led to my friends throwing up. Never wanted to be a part of the bigger menace, so I slipped in my un-ironed un-washed denims, wrinkled shirts for the nearest store. No, I wasn’t gonna buy a room- freshner, as way back in 3 yr in the Engg. even a deodorant was a luxury. We preferred soaps over scents so, an unscented room hardly mattered. I had to buy a detergent soap, the very reason I couldn’t wash off clothes earlier. Yeah, the store was very far, as far as 300 meters from my Hostel gate.
When you are young and in your early 20’s you leap an extra mile. I jogged my way to the store, only to find a huge crowd. Guess the entire college seemed to buy some utilities. No, it wasn’t the entire college, but mostly girls. As a smiling guy left the store, I was the only male customer, trying to get some relief to my room-mates by buying a detergent bar. Making my way across the girls wasn’t possible as it would have certainly made them hue and cry.More over I would have been stamped with words like desperate and pervert. I was neither of them. Am impatient and certainly the view of chicks buying lip glosses and nail polished at 11 Am on Sunday morning did no help. Gosh! Who the heck dresses up and buys cosmetics on Sunday morning wee hours(yeah 11 Am was a wee hours on Sundays). Somehow, even the hottest looking chicks didn’t fascinate me then.Shopping and seeing girls shop is big turn off for me. I took out the only Rs 10 note from my pocket, waved in the air to the get salesman’s attention. The second I proved lucky(lucky as the guy actually did move his eyes from girls.You gotto be lucky for it.), I shouted “A Rin soap, anna”. What followed was a eerie silence. I re-visted my memory to make sure that I had asked for soap and not for a pack of condoms or Viagra.
More than 50 eyes stared at me and checked my unkempt and untidy looks. Its weird when people or rather say a crowd gazes at you with smirk on their face and utmost silence. I suddenly felt naked and wanted to hide myself in the nearest corner.Somehow I regained my conscience and posture and made an expression which was a combo of “What!!” and “I really don’t care!”. Am not sure if anyone over there understood my ambiguous expressions, but they certainly made a way for me to the counter. I was collecting my change when, I over heard an elegant “Excue me!” followed by tap on my shoulder. I made an about turn all set to ask “What is it so important that you cant give me a minute”. I mumbled and fumbled as I turned around.
Contrary to what I looked and was dressed in, she wore what I guess a white chiffon Salwar kameej with certainly a low neckline,low enough to give a preview of things more than required.Maybe I was the one who went in looking for something extra. The smell of “I don’t know which perfume, but it was OK, no it was great” filled the air. I admired her beauty for the next 2 seconds, which certainly did annoy her. She turned side ways to give me way and it meant I had to leave.I walked briskly only to turn around and look at her for the last time before I barged into my hostel. I had a story and the bachelor’s were always interested if it involved a girl, a beautiful one. With the finish of my pacy narration, one of the guys patted me for my bravado. I inflated my chest as if I was become the President of the country. The other guys cursed me with my good luck and the extra-enthusiasts dressed up in borrowed outfits and also made their way to the store to check out the girl in low neck line outfit. I shouted “I saw her first” as if she had my copy-write protected seal all over, but no one took a note of that.
But certainly the stink and the mess my room was in eluded everyone’s mind. The very same guy who hated me half an hour ago, was giving his tips to get the girl. The others too hogged around me to find other intricate details, which even though I didn’t see, but fake it up. Come on! Who would have cared it anyways. This is what hostellers do, Live the moment and live every second of it. No idea, who the girl was or what happened to her, but a week later, in an attempt to re-create the magic of my luck, I chanced upon another girl. This time it was the one in the color blue, my favorite!

Corruption: A menace or a price for our deeds

Corruption ,a word which flows like a blood in the veins of every Indian, more so now all thanks to the efforts of no-so-peaceful yet silent agitation by leaders who represent the masses. Indians by now have seen it all, a multi million crore 2G scam, Adarsh housing scam to name a few.Nobody has been spared , be it the armymen, sportsmen or the common man. And who has suffered the most, we the common man. The aam junta, or rather say the part of Indian Society which accumulates to more than 80% of the population, who pays taxes on time(in form of TDS), still file IT returns(that too on time) and yet pay taxes on every damn purchase thereby paying taxes of their already tax axed income. Still no one has an issue over it.Thats because we like a hassle free cosy life, a life where we want clean toilets, roads and environment every day you get up.Obviously opposition,revolutions and agitation never are a part of this life. And still we crib about population, pollution, corruption ,infrastructure or basically about every thing in life and yet don’t do anything to help about it.The maximum we do is write it as a status message of a social network which get a couple of likes and similar comments are echoed by like-minded friends who forget all this ‘aam-janta’ crap by the dusk.
The recent turn of events like ‘Anna Hazare’s fight against corruption’ and the very recent ‘Ramdev baba’ fast campaign made me think, what corruption was, was I involved in prospering it too..was I a part of it too…was I also upset with this so called menace ?..My quest for the answers led to the very source of corruption, from where it emerged and propagates. I wasn’t surprised to know it was us, we the common people, the aam junta who gives birth to corruption or basically every damn thing in this country we crib about.Its basically the price we are paying for the liberties we have so far and continue to enjoy, certain privileges we are so used to that we have somehow started living with it, and have a symbiotic affair with them.
A child never learns corruption when he is born. Its the society who teaches him about it,teaches how to deal with it or rather say compromise and live with it in a mutual understanding.We Indians always want a alternate way of getting things done, a way which is faster,shorter and yeah a bit expensive too.A middle class guy doesnt mind parting with few thousand bucks if it means getting the job done hand-to-hand in a Govt. office.Since people pay and are ready to pay more, they are asked.We always have a deadly tale of how we want things fast and in a hurry.The tale never gets any empathy or sympathy from the people, but becomes the context of paying bribe.We love jumping singnals, driving without proper documents and mostly without a helmet.When caught, we always sort out a common way which means you avoid the penalty and the traffic man is happy too.Slipping a few hundred bucks to get your waitlisted tickets confirmed even before your turn comes up is very common scenario.We love having our friends at work place and hence make a recommendation(read an approach). we term all these as legal and narrate it to our kins and friends with pride as it meant having enormous guts and valor.
Now lets get back to corruption in the system(read Government).What type is it and why people are making a big fuss about it.Someone wanted a 2G license despite of not having fulfilled the pre-requisites.So he found an alternate way, the shorter, faster way, and paid a few hundred crores to get the license.How different is this from a common man slipping a few thousand rupees to the Passport Officer to get him his passport made out of turn.The only difference is the denomination of the transaction.The attempt ,attitude is very same.The common man is angry that the above said scam cost a fortune to the Govt. exchequer, but does he ever know or tries to know what did his action of bribing the passport officer cost to the people who were in turn to get their passport, they had to wait longer.No, i do not intend to support the scams and instead believe to the core that these acts were heist of public money. But what I intend to state and ask is that the common public, who is equally responsible for this tryst of Indina’s destiny, has the right to protest against these. The people who have enraged the common public by looting the country via scams are not aliens, infact they are from our very own society. The only difference is that they had access to money which they could get away with. Perhaps any middle class guy in that situation would love to stash away with a few crores, have an account in Swiss bank , buy a villa in an uptown metropolitan and dream to finally lead a normal, stable life.
Am not against any agitation, protest, demonstrations but I strongly believe that we should look at ourselves while blaming others. One of my friends had rightly said that when you are pointing a finger at someone, your 3 fingers are pointing at you. Even Mahatma Gandhi had said “Be the change you want to see among others”.So lets change the scenario, be truthful, lets not bribe, participate in politics..yeah it’s a cluttered mess, but its we who have to get in it to clear it out and above all “Be Responsible”.

The Proposal -- final part

Here comes an end to my story which i spanned in 5 parts.I know i stretched it like a soap opera, but couldn't avoid doing so.If you are reading it, it means you must have red the other parts too..!!If no, please spare some moment and start from 1st part.And as always, as a writer, nothing more matters than a 'like' on facebook or a comment at my blog(critics are most welcome to take dig at it).Thanks and happy reading..!!


She spent the next half an hour minutely describing her ,what she called career aspirations,short term and long term goals.The only phases where i was part of the conversation was when i budged in 'yes', 'wonderful' and other similar adjectives.Her profound love towards her future somehow didnt interest me any furthar.I guess the reason being that i wanted it to be our future rather than hers alone.I developed a cold feet and backed out of the plan the very next minute.I felt like nausea and had a utmost feelng of puking all over.More than the 'i want to be a rich' plan, the thought of being unplanned crept in and i had a sudden feeling of insecurity.The anxiety made its 1st apprearance in
form drops of sweat over my forehead.Even the air-conditioned restuarant failed to keep my cool.Seconds after she was done with her showcase of eloquance, she asked me my plans for my career.I uttered back..plan ..what ??..I could have easily faked and framed up a story convincing enough , but the deep and never-ending gap in our thoughts made my take a plunge in the gorge and so did our relation-ship.I got up, paid my part of the bill, limped for a while before taking an auto back home.Rattled and distressed by the thoughts, i did puke later.Late in the night i got up, scribbled a 2 page long mail explaining about our situation and asking her to forget me and never to contact me again.I had no idea why i did so,but it was the 2nd time when i had asked her not to speak to me again.The hour long meeting brought an end to my non-chalant passion and undying love towards her.3 days later I headed to Chennai, when i was suppossed to join for my 1st job.

The excitement,enthusiam and charm of getting onto the 1st job lost its 'paramount' effect in the 1st few days.The rigourous sessions in computer labs where a hands on training was imparted for more than 9 hours a day was too much to consume at a go.The weekends were spent mostly in recovering out of the past 5 days trauma and preparing oneself for the another week of rigor.Before i could think whether i was heading towards a perfect career goal, the next few months of training breezed by and before i could figure out any furthar, i was posted in Noida as my base branch.We partied the night when we received our final posting as it was a welcome respite of the frenzied or rather say much organized state of affairs deep south.I re-joiced more as Noida meant i would get to see the scant population of hot chicks which were extremely rare commodities in Chennai.Before boarding the flight to Delhi , i high fived by friends and fist-pumped in air anticipating a wonderful and fun-filled life ahead, unaware of fact that she enrolled herself to Masters in medicine in a college barely 100 meters from my going to be workplace.

I assume even she was unaware of the same, as 4 months after the 'my aspirations and career' incident , neither of us would have wanted to get into the awkward incident of confronting each other.And we did avoid it for the 1st two weeks, before the nature and constellation planned for a change and did something we might have not expected even in out worst of nightmares.It took not more than a week in getting friendly with recently joined female colleagues.The 'un digestable' or rather say the oily stuff in the canteen made us venture out of office to nearby dhaba joints very ofetn.It was tuesday afternoon when Disha pinged me asking if i would go out for lunch with her.I was introduced to her in the morning status meeting barely 3 hours back.Its weird how girls in North contrary to their peers deep South never mind asking out a guy.Somehow it really turned me on.The plush offices were surrounded my numerous food joints, more specificly dhabas all aound.It was amusing to see hottest chicks of the town with the perfect-'test' of figures craving for butter chicken and dal makhni.It was way better than seeing girls smoke in Hard rock cafe.We opened a 'thanda matlab Coke' while waiting for our turn for seats at the heavilily crowded dhaba.2 sips in with the Coke, i noticed a herd of lab coat clad guys heading toward us.Noticing me checking out them, Disha told me about the infamous Medical college closeby.Seconds later i noticed her, clung on hand in hand with other doc guy.Somehow their attire made them look to come from a familiy.And the guy who had her hand in his hand looked nothing more than her protective brother.The very next moment i looked away and cursed myself for being jealous.I found it easier to avoid rather than confront her.Her gang of 6 stood behind us waiting for their turn.I tried my best getting in a fake conversation with Disha and did make a similar gesture by holding her hands.Seonds later a over inquisitive guy in her gang poked me.I almost had a panick attack, but did manage to turn around.Apparantly the guy wanted to know the duration we had been waiting for.I couldnt avoid looking straight onto her and mutter 'for quite sometime'.I turned back but patted on back soon after.It was she who came on to say a 'hi' to me.Highly embarrassed, i spoke how different she looked in the coat and i almost couldnt recognize her.It continued with another round of silence.I felt like hiding somewhere.I cut short the awkwardness by introducing her to Disha.There was obvious
exchange of smirks.She retaliated by introducing me to her gang which just had 2 female members.Thankfully my phone rang and i rushed back to my office citing it as an urgent issue.The issue actually was my cubicle mate asking me out for a fag.I desperately needed one.Before we left for home, Disha did ask me about her and found it was more than just school friends.I went to a pub straight after office and got subdued with 7 pegs of scotch all intended to prevent her thoughts to creep in.

I woke up the next morning with sever hangover and 15 missed calls on my cellphone.Out of 5 calls from office which didnt matter to me, the rest of the calls were from an unknown number.An unread message in the inbox made me realise that it was her.She got my number from a common friend of ours and wanted to have 'a talk' to clear any air of awkwardness amongst us.I fetched myself some lime-water and an aspirin.10 minutes later i called her up.She picked up the call in a go and scolded me for making her real anxious by not taking the calls the other night.I told her of the inebriated state i was in, to which she kept mum and asked me if i do booze.On hearing my confirmation , she went on after saying 'yeah, after all it your life..!!".She said she wanted to speak to me but wont be able to as she was on her way to Delhi for a friend's marriage.We said bye soon after and hung up.Something within me did activate my hormones, as i got up, had a quick bath and got ready.I was very sure what i was going to do the next.I hurried out of the house, got on my bike and zoomed on my way to delhi.

Halfway to Delhi, i gave her a call and told her that i would be in delhi too for some urgent work and we could actually have a talk if she wasnt busy.I looked up in heaven as she agreed and made a silent prayer before resuming my journey.She asked me to come to the Sahara Mall.Wary of directions, i asked people at every signal to make sure i was on the right way.I gave her a call once again on reaching the mall and she replied saying she would be there any minute.I roamed around and waited for more than an hour.I did keep sending messages and gave missed call to make sure that she realized that i was still waiting for her.The hour long wait flashed the entire story of ours right in front of my eyes.
The friendly pat on my back declared her arrival finally.She had been religiously following the gesture of patting me on my back every time she met me right from our school days.Never realized how the tom-boyish friend of mine had transformed in a lovely lady today.She was more than an hour late but barely had the guilt feel on her face.Her flawless smile, the glossy lipstick and the green eyes(I was sure she wore the lenses) made me forget my anger in less than a minute.Gosh..!! how could and how would I vent my anger at her..!!, is what I thought the next moment.I had texted her more than 15 times in the last 1 hr while waiting at the Sahara Mall in Delhi.It was my 3rd visit to the state capital and it was 7 yrs after the last time.My education and work kept me busy deep south and had it been not her would not have visited Delhi in the chilly December.But this time I was on a purpose.The motive was to finally propose her and express my deep seated desire of finally getting in with her.I knew the long distance relation-ship never works, but right now keeping everything aside, I was up for some love and commitments

The Proposal -- part 4

. I had stitches on 3 areas all over my body and I felt pain even on moving my head.
It was a friendly voice that made me open my eyes.I wasn’t sure of what I was seeing or it was a effect of some mental trauma I suffered sometime back.Damn..it was actually her.She made her way to hospital upon hearing my news from a common friend.I had no idea that she was in the same city for her interns.The doctor within her examined me for the next 2 minutes before she sat at the edge of my bed.Her dismal face said it all.I made an unconditional apology, to which she laughed and said it didn’t matter as long as am hail and hearty.My recent pain and bandages somehow acted like a magical wand and did what my talks,apologies or calls would never had done.She caressed her fingers across my head and bid adieu with a promise of visiting again the next day.I fist pumped as she left as I sensed victory and found my battered relationship coming back on track.A couple of minutes later I sent her a text message saying “by d way u looked gorgeous”, to which she instantly replied “thanx and u too minus the bandages..:) J..The smilies said it all.It was a long time I wore a smile to sleep after a long spree of dullness and tiredness.

The next morning when I woke up I had a fresh energy oozing out of me.She turned up again after I had finished up my breakfast.I knew the accident and thereafter the sms I sent her the last day made her forget the past and forgive me, but I did not expect her to get back to me so soon.She got me the lunch packed from her home.Though 3 more people shared the hospital dormitory with me, but the only person I could see was her. We shared the same lunch box and I guess it was the 1st and finest date I had with her.Though unspoken, the silence,lit eyes and our smiles said it all.Done with the lunch, she helped me wash my hands and lay back on the bed. We giggled, laughed and smiled for the next hour with her hands in mine.Dont know how the jokes which I found sick and sucked in college, were imbibed with humor today.She ran her fingers across my hair and uttered a mute yet understandable ‘bye’ before she left to her home.My eyes followed her as she left the room.Seeing this and a smile on my face, an old man on the bed adjacent to mine asked me “Son, is she ur finacee’..? “..Take aback by the question, I smiled again, though for a second and replied, “Yes, she is..?..isn’t she beautiful”..as this the oldie said “Indeed she is and you guys make a good couple..god bless”.This blushed to an extent, and I pictured her as my would be bride when the idea of proposing her cropped in my head again.
I recovered in the next few days while she made a daily appearance at the hospital.Most of the patients around me and the medical staff knew her my fiance.I kept my fingers crossed and made an every effort to recover as early as possible.By no means I wanted to be in the hospital by the time she leaves back to her home.Her college was re-opening in a week’s time when I got discharged from the hospital.By the time a reached home, the bike was made out of bounds for me.My mom shed another round of tears and swore me never to touch the bike again before detailing me about the number of mannat’s she offered for my early recovery.I cleverly swore not to touch ‘that’ bike again.We had decided to meet the very next day I came back to home.I asked her for lunch as my mom with be daily chores then and my dad would be in office.The preceding evening I started planning again.A red rose was out of my plans now after the disastrous omen it had the last time.Infact nothing was in my bounds as I could not go out with parents at home.I made an excuse of feeling some pain and get some fresh air.At this my mum pulled the curtains and my dad stood up to get me the prescribed medicine from chemist.I realized then that am their offspring and fooling them would not be possible at this instant.With nothing at bay, I crossed my fingers and wished everything to come into place this last time. With things going my way(except the accident) in the past few weeks, I was optimistic of being nomore a bachelor by that time the next day.
I wore my Peter England shirt,Levis jeans and sprayed a quarter bottle of perfume before heading towards the cafeteria.I told my mom that I was going to a cyber café and would be back in an hour. Am sure my mother smelt the rat, but she was too busy with her household chores to further inquire about it.I walked a distance before taking an auto to the City Center.Contrary to other girls she always arrived on time and got to wait, but never made a fuss about it.I guess she did wait for a couple of minutes before I arrived.Unlike the last time, I was more casual and didn’t carry any flowers or other fancy stuff to the venue.We got ourselves on a table for two, and started the conversation.It a tedious task striking a conversation when you have a plan at the backdrop. While she started muttering something about the extreme hot weather, I was looking for an opportunity to break it and divert the topic.I cut short her and asked whats next in her life.Though she was amazed by the sudden serious query, she did reply me a well planned career path which I guess spanned for the next 5 years.Damn I was in a fix.I had never planned anything remotely related to my career so seriously till date.

The Proposal -- part 3

.....7 hours later, I changed my stand, and was in a call with her again.

The call that night was more of clarifications and justifications. While I threw tantrums at her wary attitude of showing up with “we are just friends” male friend, she expressed complete innocence and asked me the reason for my not-so friendly behavior.Though I wasn’t explicit with the reason for my insane behavior, I wanted her to figure it out.God forbid..!! but it was not a Da Vinci’s cryptogram that she could’nt have figured it out.I was terribly upset with her and wanted to convey the same.I cut short her, asked her to forgive me and never call me back again.I followed this by abruptly cutting the call.Am not sure if she heard my hastily pronounced words, but she did get the message.Nature once again proved that two opposite sexes cant be just friends for long.I felt like trashing my phone, but hesitated doing so after realizing how severely it would affect my financial woes.I went to the terrace where the entire class except me re-joiced around a bon-fire, couples cuddled,chicks danced while the rest boozed.I got a drink for my self, went along the railing of the 7 th floor, looked down on the busy street,gushed down the large peg of scotch and cursed myself again for making people come down to Hyderabad for the industrial visit.

6 months after the Hyderabad incident, which had made me more serious in life, I got recruited by one of the finest IT exporter of the country.It offered me a decent package.The turn of events made me call her again.Perhaps this was a great news and she was the 1 st person after my family whom I wanted to speak at that very instance.In the past many months, she had made numerous attempts to reach me via email,SMS, calls and messenger.I remained unavailable for her most of the time.With time, my grudge at her had almost negated and I realized that I should have at least given a chance for her to talk.The placements had oozed in a fresh fervor of confidence in me. Without a slightest of doubt I called her up.It took more than a few rings for her to take the call.I guess she never anticipated me calling her.Before she could speak up a word, I broke the news and said sorry for my attitude in the last few months at the same time.Though it did not make sense, but we reconciled in the next few minutes.

The Hyderabad incident did leave some scars on our healthy relationship which ceased to be so thereafter.The frequency of calls dropped to once in a couple of months and more than being flirtious and romantic, we started being cautious and pretentious of the usage of our words and the context of our conversation.You know its time to move on when you have an awkward silence over the phone, look for topics to actually talk, say words like hmm, yeah its fine…you tell me.These are the initial signs of the people not actually interested in continuing the conversation but have to, for the very sake of not hurting the person at the end.Its amusing because people on both sides feel just the same, but fear being frank enough about it.With a mutual understanding, the calls dropped..so did the internet chats and the only time we spoke to each other in the final year was at each other’s birthday.I wasn’t sure if I would follow the trend next year too.

Finally I made my way out of the college, earned a graduate degree and had a job at hand.It was the 1st Sunday of August when after a wait for more than 2 months, I finally got the call for joining.It was a welcome respite from my neighbors’ who I guess found me an unwanted element and often inquired about my joining.Some of them went a step ahead and asked me my package and often replied to that by giving reference to some of their distant kin’s son, a product of an IIT, who’s package was a staggering 4-5 times of what I had. Relief indeed..!!..though we haven’t spoken to each other ever since I left college, I was anticipating a call from her the whole day, never knowing the fact that she did the same.I went off to sleep early with mixed emotions and some unfulfilled desires.My joining call did elate me but could not convince me enough to take the initiative and call her up that day.I laid wide awake and kept the cell phone close to me, still clung onto my expectations.It was not more than a minute when I dozed off, that my cellphone vibrated with a message.It was couple of minutes before the clock struck 12.I always believed life to be a vicious cycle.It was like I slipped back a couple of years back.It ws her who had sent me the SMS.The message wished me a happy friendship’s day and ended with ‘expected you to call me atleast on this day..”..it followed with a couple of sad smileys.I had an instant feeling of remorse and guilt.I didn’t know what to do and wasn’t sure if I should actually call her up at this time in the night.I found it safest to SMS her back.I went blank when I opened pressed the reply option to the message.I kept my phone aside, slid under the blanket ,closed my eyes and tried to sleep with a guilty heart and remorseful consciousness.Few minutes later a tear rolled from my left eye and I sobbed for some time before I finally fell asleep.

I was thinking about her again while driving my bike on my way to the city booking center for my tickets.I didn’t notice that I was full on accelerator and the speedo-meter had crossed 70kmph.Just when I breached the speed of 80kmph on my splendor, I saw a dog crossing the road unwarranted of the speeding bike.My heart skipped a beat, and I tried to push both the rear and fore brakes at the same time.While my right leg failed to react in the short span of time, my right hand did what it should have, applied the front brake with full intensity.Physics and newton’s law of motion never seemed as dreadful as it was now.At a speed of 70kmph, the sudden brake on the front brakes proved nasty and it toppled the bike all over.The last thing I felt was being punished for what I did the last night as I lost consciousness on feeling extreme pain and seeing blood all around me.I opened my eyes 3 hours later to find bruises all over my body. The doctor informed me that I was lucky enough not to suffer from any head trauma or break any of the bones. I had stitches on 3 areas all over my body and I felt pain even on moving my head.

The Proposal -- part 2

Here comes the well awaited second part of the series, the 3rd part is on its way..!!

.........Screw you..!! I shouted as hard I could and joined him to see other video songs.

After several months of calls,msgs, google talk and skype, it was in December that we finally decided to meet.We both had agreed to make a mutual effort for it and travel some distance.She was pursuing her Medicals in Bangalore and I was doing my Engg in Tamil Nadu.So, Hyderabad seemed to be a closest option.I chose the place as my class had decided to pay the city a visit on the context of a Industrial Tour.I being one of many co-ordinators strongly insisted on making Hyderabad the place to visit among other places.I neatly laid out a plan, bought in my best buddies and close friends in the class and collectively voted for Hyderabad.None of them knew about my intentions until we had reached the city.She chalked some similar plans which I never got to know.We planned to meet up on the 2 nd day of my trip, as the 1 st day was scheduled completely for the visits to industries and institutes.The night before the date, I gave a thought about it.It was a big day for me,as I was going on my 1 st date ever since I attained puberty. After making and trashing several plans to make the date special for her, I finally decided to cave in and propose her.I realized how my feelings for her has multiplied ever since she made the call on the friendship’s day.She had been constantly bothering me in my dreams and thoughts and perhaps the only way to get rid of my anxieties and worries related to the future of our relationship, was to go ahead and propose her.I went off to sleep after making the decision, unaware and not anticipating about the upcoming barriers.I woke up 3 hours later with an upset stomach.Certainly..!! not the greatest of starts on the day I decided to change the course of my life and propose a girl.I had never ever proposed or thought of proposing a girl before even in my wildest dreams.Leave me, I guess my entire bunch of friends, noone in my family or the entire clan had taken such a step.I realized how this step of mine would get me a heroic figure in front of my friends. I decided not to think about how my family would react at it.I knew it would be nothing less than catastrophic, so decided to give the thought a miss.



I decided to call upon my other school friends to get any idea they may have about how to propose a girl.The guy whom I called put my call on speaker mode and what I heard was a herd of guys giving me ideas and tips about it. Most of the tips seemed to have been directly taken out from romantic Bollywood and Hollywood classics and I was sure beyond doubt that none of them have had any experience at it.The romantic movie showed taking your date to a 5 star hotel,buying a wine and proposing with the ring in it.Leave the ring,dinner or wine I couldn’t afford to enter a 5 star hotel then.It was then an idea struck me.I explaimed Eureka..!! and took an auto.I instructed the auro-wallah to halt wherever he finds a good flower shop.That seemed to be the most viable,feasible and economical option, a red rose.The auto-wallah asked me if I was going on for a date.Taken aback by the question, I gave a smirk and asked to mind his own business.After such a rude response.i wasn’t sure if would halt at any flower shop.However, the guy seemed to ingnore my smirk and did stop at the flower shop.Confused on seeing a variety of red roses, i closed my eyes and chose one of them, and hurred bakc to the auto.I waved my hand at her as I paid my auto-fare.In accordance to my rude behaviour, the auto wallah charged me 20 bucks more than what the meter showed, stating this is what the rule of land was.Had it been any other day I would have probably given a fight , but I had no intentions of screwing my mood.I stepped in the café and reached the table where she sat.Gosh..!! what was seriously wrong with me in school, as I never noticed her seriously. I said a peppy hi, and without any delay flashed the rose at her.Am sure I took off her off her feet, but the surprised and shocked reaction at her face was more than what I had expected. I consoled myself and reminded me of my firm determination for the day.



After spending hundreds of hours over phone in the last few months, the face to face conversation was more than awkward.We talked random and casual stuff, the talk completely lacked the passion and she did not have the flirtiest tone which she possessed over phone.’Hey .!! dude” I heard a male voice and saw a guy coming over to our table with cappuccinos’ and some other CCD stuff. I was about to say ‘Am sorry..!!,,do I know you” before she cut me short and made a formal introduction to him.He was her class-mate and a resident of Hyderabad . According to her version, she bumped onto him on her way to the café. I really wanted to trust her, but the jealous, possessive boyfriend within me found the version absurd enough to believe.I sat for the next hour wearing a fake smile and had nothing less to say apart from my limited vocabulary i used when i met a girk for the 1st time.I didn’t knew about my status then and somehow found the two of them too friendly to be mere classmates.She went on to say that I hadn’t changed as i still did not speak much.I wanted to reply her saying “what do you expect me to say when I come for my date and found myself stuck up on someone else’s..!! “My desire to propose her drowned themselves in the floods of sorrow deep within my heart.Much to my respite my friend called me up as they were heading for a movie and was just checking if I could make it. I stood up made a very lame excuse and left leaving my share of bill on the table, all intended to let her know of my pissed off mood.Quite obviously I thought that Shahrukh’s flick would anyday be a better choice than crucifying my heart further.Heart-broken,devastated and embarrassed, I left the café and vowed not to meet,talk or call her again.7 hours later, I changed my stand, and was in a call with her again.